I have mentioned a number of time that I am so tired of first dates. I prefer meeting people at house parties or at clubs than on first dates. I really feel that the house party environment is one where people can enjoy themselves in a more relaxed manner. The pressure is off from the one on one dinner dates. Even if you just have drinks, you have that same pressure.
I mean what if they are so incredibly boring and you have to sit there praying the beverage time runs though quickly so you can get up and walk away… fast…
We attend house parties and we host house parties. I must say that hosting house parties are a favorite of mine, even more than just attending. There are some down sides to the hosting but overall there are more upsides than down.
I like being a hostess in any capacity. This is an awesome time for me. We ahve the system down pat. I mean I could be on a phone call or 7.5 hours and still get the party prep work done. Of course, hubby helps a lot. The bottom line is that we have a system developed and it is an easy one at that and we can pull off a very nice looking and fun party.
I love being a hostess as I can pretty much do what I want in regards to going up to all guests and chat with them. I am the hostess and they would not be in my house if not for me. There is a few advantages to that if you think about it… no shyness there… they will greet me or I will greet them.
The best benefit of hosting a party is not having to drive home or leave the hotel before I got enough sleep.
There are some hidden benefits you may not think about… but it goes along the lines of being able to see how people are when they are in a party setting.
Now I am a person who does spend a considerable amount of time observing people and their behaviors… so the party situation is very fun for me…
We have at our parties a number of repeat guests… some of these repeat guests simply enjoy being in the ‘swinger’ environment. That is perfectly fine for me. I firmly believe no on HAS to play just because play is available. We enjoy having people who feel comfortable being in our home and around the other guests.
At every party there have been those who came to play and play they did. WE love that. We love having those who feel comfortable to play with us or to play with others while at our home.
I notice those who will not likely play at all in the party setting but will one on one. I notice those who will not play until they have been around us multiple times. And there are some that we will never play with but they feel comfortable playing with each other at the party.
The key is that there are many people who feel comfortable to do what they want in our home. And as a hostess that is the ultimate compliment.
I can also tell those who are ‘trouble’ or have the potential of being trouble. I am the type of person who will give the benefit of the doubt to people. I am not talking those who I have that gut feeling about and they won’t even make it to the party because the gut is screaming NO FUCKING WAY!
I am talking about those who have done or said something that gives me pause. The first time I will say, you know what… maybe that was a freak thing. The second time… let’s just say, you don’t get a third time.
I believe there is a fine line between being a gracious hostess and an idiot who allows others to walk over them.
That second chance is your time to do what is right rather than another stupid thing that will guarantee you will not have a third chance.
When you host any get together there is an opportunity for drama. When you host a swinger party, there is almost a guarantee that some drama will happen.
A newbie to swinging thinking they are called out for being soft swap when in fact all the person was doing is trying to place people with their corresponding profiles.
A couple who has one party jealous because someone else is enjoying their partner.
Someone who walks around freaking other guests out by their strange behavior and announcing what they do for a living.
Moving in on another couple (not husband and wife, but two play partners) and leaving one party out of the fun.
Bringing a spouse that is totally plastered upon arrival to the party so the spouse can begin to enjoy the party.
It is a party. But there is no reason to bring your ‘issues’ and ‘drama’ to the party.
That is why we like the party setting. We do not have to spend one on one time with these people. We can write them off our list of people we want to play with ever. We can write them off our guest list. We can let them know ‘sorry, but you are not welcome anymore’.
Now, I do not necessarily like to tell people these types of messages. But I will. I have.
And if you think I will take your side over my spouses on anything even if my spouse was wrong… Yeah, that happened.
I am not running a club. I am not hosting parties to make a profit. Hell, we do not charge for anyone to come to our parties. So no profit at all, not even a covering our expenses opportunity.
I don’t need you to come back and bring friends. I do not care if you are upset that we wont’ let you come to or return to our parties. I am serious… doesn’t bother me in the least. I am hosting these parties because I want to meet other swingers, develop friendships if they do, and have some swinger sex too. I want this without the hassle of first dates.
Which is a great benefit of house parties.
We have made friends at each of our house parties and those we have attended in the past. We have had those friends throughout our two years of swinging so far.
We have also let a few people go to the wayside. Two main categories… jealousy/insecurity/drama or limp/pillow princess. Oddly enough… those two categories tend to overlap a bit.
The largest is the jealousy/insecurity/drama bit… I swear that is so annoying to me. But as I said the house parties allows me to see a bit more into this behavior before we move to far along. It is not a guarantee of successfully identifying it, but that is more me giving to many benefits of the doubt. My bad.
I mention that I don’t like first dates. What I do love about the house parties are all the second dates we get from them. Yes, that is what we like. Whether it is a second date a week or so later or even months later. Or at the next house party. We love the fact that our house parties have opened up the opportunities to meet people in a relaxed atmosphere and then have a second date that is even better than the first.
Many people give me a hard time when talking about no first dates. They fail to listen carefully to all I am saying. If we can meet at a house party and then have a second date… takes care of the first date issues. Many believe that I am opposed to getting to know others.
We have had house parties that go until wee hours of the morning… sometimes all night and into the next day…
We have plenty of time getting to know others and hearing what they have to say about themselves and we share about ourselves. Granted many of the guests read the blog and learn about us that way… but there is still an opportunity to learn about how close I am to what I write in my blog… LOL…
When you are able to break through the first date pressure you are able to get to know them better. See how they are when they are with others in a group… and how they make their intentions known…
That is one of the most interesting things about the parties… seeing how people make their moves. Those moves for that night or those moves for a second meeting. It is a lot of fun and exciting to watch…
I have found that meeting people in this manner gives me a better look at who they are. A few folks on the forums agree with me… They get to know the person not the profile. They get to know the person and not the older pictures on their profile… and then they can decide who they are interested in – in real time and not through things that don’t matter as much.
As one person put it very nicely… “if they are hot and act down to earth, I want them. If they are hot and act like an asshole, I want to run away from them. At a party I can.”
I write this as tonight we are heading to TN to meet up with a couple that came to our party last weekend. We are meeting for dinner and play time at their home. We hit it off last weekend before we played and after we played we still wanted to meet up again. It is very fun how that works… just one of many examples of how you can’t discount the benefits of a house party…
Hope you are enjoying your sexually social adventure….