He Prefers Disdain and Condescension

Before we could play there was work to do. I needed to know how to ‘get along’ with my sub. And since this was added in ‘last minute’ sorta… we had to do some work to figure out what was needed. Dane is the name of the sub in this adventure… He is so sweet and so good looking… and so fucking nice…

See where the problem lies… he is sweet and nice and good looking… a perfect man… if he wasn’t wanting me to humiliate him… I mean… he is that sweet… and nice… and fucking hot… so humiliation is not my first ‘go to’ with him… it is flirting and well, not calling him a sissy. He knows this… I said it several times to him… how sweet he is… He tells me that this won’t work well if I think the world of him… and we had gotten to know each other before it moved into the sub realm… We had to start getting in our roles for this adventure… so he explained why he likes this role of sub.

His job… his career requires him to make a lot of hard decisions with great consideration of many risks and consequences with little time to ponder them. He is a surgeon. He is the head of the department. He loves what he does but it is stressful. It is challenging. It can be overwhelming but he can’t allow himself to be overwhelmed. This is his outlet. This is what he does for release of all the shit in the world that he is required to do on a daily basis.

His staff all report to him with an understanding that what he says goes. The decisions he makes rest on his shoulders and no one else’s. If he makes a mistake it can cost someone their life. That is a lot on a person. His staff show him respect and some hold him in a position of awe and wonder. Some talk out of both sides of their mouths… and some just do not like him at all. But they all have to work with him.

He has to show them respect and all that good stuff… but with the amount of stress related to his work… he enjoys not having to make decisions for this area of his life. I know that this was supposed to make me feel better about making him feel like less… but I admire him a bit more.

That makes it a bit harder to humiliate him…

A lot harder actually.

Did I mention I find him sweet, nice, and hot…

He asked me if I could talk to him with disdain and condescension in my voice. I have done that to others… not sure if that is a brag or a confession… but I have spoken to people in that way before… and in theory can again… but I wasn’t sure if I could him…

He suggested I think of someone who ‘deserves’ to receive that from me and channel them for this fun we are going to have…

I know I should be highly ashamed of myself… for what I am about to confess… but there were several people I could think of that would give me great pleasure if I could speak to them all the time in that ‘voice’. I realized that I may have a new method of ‘dealing’ with them without really taking it out on them… this is both exciting and scary. But more exciting.

I really felt free when I was able to say things to him with disdain and condescension even in practice mode… It gave me an opportunity to get it off my chest so to speak and not be labeled a ‘bad person’. The more I thought about what I could say and how I was going to say it… the lighter I felt… I enjoyed being able to process my ‘shit’ without harming others. And I double-checked, I was not harming him.

In fact, I was often asked to amp up the disdain and condescension… and to not say the last word or two as an apology or with the sounds of it being an apology waiting to happen…

I had a person who I kept in my mind that was the real recipient of my disdain and condescension that I felt deserved it… It was interesting to see how this ’emotion’ came out and how as I owned the emotion the more real it became for me… I was able to see things clearer… and made it easier to switch between processing the emotion and letting the emotion play out…

Dane shared with me some of his favorite phrases that made him respond quickly and with great pleasure… he told me the things he likes to be ‘forced’ to do in these situations. He is bisexual and because of the whole scene that was building in this four-some… he wanted to make sure that there would be some of the bisexual humiliation aspect happen.

OMG, yes please…

This gets better and better and better as the moments tick along.

I could cum right now thinking about this… let alone living it and reliving it… Heaven help me… I am so fucking lucky.

Dane and I would be getting started before the other two men joined us. There were some things that Dane felt we needed to do to get the whole scene going. Some of these things would be a few days prior… he felt that we needed to really be in ‘character’ and it would help with my issue of really respecting him.

I will be honest… and this is about my husband and me… it is not really hard when my husband gets me to ‘that’ point to talk to him with disdain dripping from every word. It is not a challenge at all for me to talk to him with condescension lacing every word… It is very easy at times for this to happen… I know this… he knows this… and he pushes that limit and has our whole marriage to where this is what he receives and if I ‘do my best’ not to go there… he pushes that boundary and pushes some more and then it comes out and he actually seems happy…

So to say that I struggled with accomplishing something with disdain and condescension as a whole because it was not a part of me… well that would not be correct… but to apply this towards Dane was challenging as I saw him in the view of an incredible man who interested me a great deal. I expressed to him this struggle I was having. How to separate him from the man I first met him as and then how I had to change the focus towards this submissive role that was our secondary introduction. He understood the struggle. But, we had to move towards this new role and how we would go forward with these expectations.

Dane explained in great detail how I would need to see him as more submissive, and we started with an understanding of what submission means – “the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person.” I need to shift my focus from respecting him and seeing him as a man I was sexually attracted to and instead view him from the lens of a man who wants to submit to me. A man who seeks my ‘superior’ force, my strength and direction for this activity. This gave me insight on how to switch gears. We found the conversations begin to evolve where I was the more dominant in not only my portion of the conversation and manner in which I ‘dealt’ with him… but having that switch in mindset helped in other ways…

I was given permission to say what I want and not worry about fitting into a ‘flirting’ or swinger role… but really be my most true self in conversation because I did not have to impress him… I needed to in fact press upon him the role of submission of him and ‘superiority’ over him. That was so cool to be party to as it happened. He would try to encourage or set me off rather to be less ‘nice’ and more real. He would challenge my thoughts and statements to get me to rid myself of the ‘nice and sweet behaviors’ and instead a bit bitchy.

I had to shed the role of being fun loving and sweet and timid in saying what I felt at the time as we are so conditioned to be nice as swingers and people. The first time he egged me on to the point I shed the nice-girl comments and really told him he can shut the fuck up anytime he wants… he encouraged me to tell him why he should shut the fuck up…

You see, he assumed some things there was little evidence of… but the assumptions were not what I wanted him to believe… I was upset by something someone did… and yet, I didn’t want to admit I was upset. I had this shield protecting me and my real thoughts on this person/topic. He could tell I was hiding something… he pushed and pushed and pushed until I finally snapped at him… If I admitted what I needed to admit then I opened up a whole new issue I had to address. I was asked ‘what was I afraid of really?’ The answer was I was afraid to admit what I already knew to be true.

So I told him to shut the fuck up… I am not ready to admit that which I already know… and I don’t want to be forced into admitting it… Oddly enough, I didn’t start crying… I just became angry. I was angry at him….It was different from when I was in this role with my husband… there was enough ‘baggage’ that allowed me to ‘take up the role complete with words’… but with him… not so much.

Until it wasn’t an issue anymore… and that made what we did last weekend so much better. I realized I had a lot of disdain and condescension waiting to come out… and out it came.

Who says kink isn’t a great release of things you need to release… very liberating. VERY!

So as we worked through those things and I created an outlet to voice those feelings I was too worried about sharing out… I shared and shared and shared all that disdain… all that condescension and as a result he became very hard-ish… he was in a cage… he dripped and dripped and dripped and I was very pleased with myself… I was letting it out… very fucking therapeutic.

When we met up at the house we rented before the actual ‘event’ happened… we were able to get comfortable with the set up… with each other… with the ‘pre-work’ we had to do to be ready… and ready we were… He hadn’t been able to remove his cage for 7 days… was ‘tortured’ by our texts… I guess I am pretty good at texting disdain and condescension in a fairly oblivious to everything else manner that made him want to have my undivided attention…

All I really remember from those texts was telling him how much I wished he was a better man that I wanted to fuck as much as the other two guys I can’t to explore, taste, and fuck… but needless to say, he just doesn’t do much for me…

He reminded me that I have the use of his whip… and when I say whip, I am not talking a flogger. He has a whip that I am able to use once in the beginning and once in the end… good grief… practicing on how to use that and get over that ‘freak out’ was interesting… very interesting…

But as we were getting ready… and I prepped him for our fun… teased, tormented, humiliated and spoke down too… he tells me… “whip my ass so it is ready to be fucked.”

Dear God, I gushed when he said that… I was so ready.

Muah Sophia

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