I had a conversation with a person on this topic… actually several people and several conversations with many of the same people… but this one particular conversation was very interesting. It was interesting because, this person believes that how a person looks is the sole indicator of who the person is.
So, if you are tall and lean with a very attractive face is worth more and is better than a shorter person with a little bit of excess fat in a few places and their face doesn’t matter because of their little bit of excess fat… their worth is not as much as the tall lean person.
I had to ask if they were in fact playing a game with me… I mean really? A tall lean person is worth more than a shorter and slightly plumper person?
I asked them their height and weight.
They are not the type that fall within tall range or lean. They are in fact shorter and plumper than what is considered tall and lean.
So… I had to ask… “What is your worth?”
They believe they are tall and lean… I could tell by their answer. “We are worth far more than someone who is shorter and plumber.”
How so? I ask. I mean… a guy who is 5’9″ is not really tall… he is not short… he is well… height wise… kinda average… I mean the average male height in the US is 5″9.5″. That is not really tall… and unless they are very fit… they do not really quality for tall and lean… so how are you worth more based on your height?
Oh, yeah let’s discuss your weight… here is the BMI for a 5’9″ man…
Height Normal Overweight Obese
|5′ 9″||128 to 168 lbs.||169 to 202 lbs.||203 to 263 lbs.|
I won’t disclose his weight… be it is the higher side of overweight… so where is his worth?
He is not tall and he is not lean…
She doesn’t qualify as tall and lean… she is 5’1″. She won’t disclose her weight… which typically leads one to believe she is not lean for 5’1″… and this is not to shame her… but it really throws the reality of the situation into the forefront…
They believe the taller they are the more they are worth… the leaner they are the more they are worth… and unless they are measuring people that are significantly shorter than them… they do not even qualify for their own measuring tools… and to place worth on that…
A person wrote on twitter to me… that he looks at both… however, it is one’s looks that begins the process of consideration. That is absolutely perfect… and very true.
I have to wonder though… how many put forth any real effort in how their first impression is made? Do they put forth any effort? Or enough effort to make themselves worthy of consideration? And I am talking personality and looks… sadly few do.
I also wonder if people will actually take a really hard look at themselves – those who go around grading others on hot and not scales… at themselves and think… am I really that hot? Or is my looks and personality keeping me from being fucked by other swingers? Or even being contacted by other swingers.
We receive a number of emails that comment on how cool my profile is… how good looking we are… how sexy I come across… and how much they want to meet us… and then when I see their profile… nothing stands out… not their profile (often too much sounding like everyone else’s – why should I want you? All you do is list rules.) No face or body pictures – hard to find chemistry with one titty shot… and what is much worse is when your profile pictures absolutely suck… if I cannot tell what body parts are showing or in what direction… then what the hell???? why would I want to look at more? If you are showing you looking uncomfortable and unhappy…. why the hell will I want to meet you?
I stand by my statements I have made that profiles mean shit to me and are a waste of time… if you want my attention, reach out to me and engage me… come to a party we are having… suggest we meet at a party elsewhere or a club… let me see who you are in person and through your communication skills… and engage me in person… that means a helluva lot more than just the meaningless and often time repetitive from all the other profiles… and the stiff and awkward pictures… I want someone who knows that to really impress a person… you have to put your best foot forward… in looks and in personality… and enjoy the true fruits of your efforts…
Suddenly, an average person becomes highly wanted… flaws and all… because they learned the real secret of engagement in swinger world…