Bisexuality in Swinging, Who Is Really Bi? Part 2

After I wrote the first post on this topic, I had a conversation with someone who identifies as a straight male. He has no desire to have any type of sex with another man. He has not desired to suck another man’s cock. He has no desire to fuck another guy’s ass or have his ass fucked. He has had a guy suck his cock.

He claims he is totally straight. No bisexuality in his person. He is not interested in sex with another man.

Did you read that last sentence of the first paragraph?

He has had a guy suck his cock.

But he is not bisexual.

He is straight as he did not ask the guy who sucked his cock to suck his cock. He has not given that guy specific permission to suck his cock. His cock just happened to go into this other guy’s mouth and the guy sucked his cock.

There were two women present. That made certain that it was not a bisexual encounter.

I listened/read this story from him… and wondered… did you cum in his mouth or on him or because he sucked your cock?

Well, my wonder got the best of me and I asked him.

Yes, he did cum in the guy’s mouth.

But you are not bisexual?

No he is not bisexual.

But a guy sucked his cock. He stayed hard. He got to the point where he could cum. He did cum. And he came in the guy’s mouth, but he is not a bisexual.

No, he is 100% straight.

Anyone else a bit confused?

Anyone else want to call bullshit?

I swear to all that is good in the world… he had a bisexual encounter. But he denies it.

Why?

I mean, he told me the story of a guy sucking his cock and him cumming from the oral sex.

Doesn’t that mean he is bisexual?

I guess not in swingerland.

I asked him point blank, ‘why aren’t you bisexual if you came in the mouth of a guy who was sucking your cock?’

Because I am not sucking him or fucking him and he is not fucking my ass.

Anyone else want to bang their head on the desk.

If you think about this… it is very similar to the mindset of women who think, I am bi because when I am drunk at a swinger event I will kiss a woman and touch her breasts. I won’t have actual sex with her, but will declare my bi-dom because I kissed her and touched her breasts.

I hate to tell you this… I touched a co-worker’s breasts before when she thought she had a lump.

That very act did not make me bisexual… but when you touch another woman’s breast for sexual purposes, drunk or not… that is my friends… bisexuality.

If you have a guy suck your cock, that is bisexuality.

In the world today, there seems to be a huge issue for calling a spade a spade… we seem to want to call it spade-comfortable… but yet, there are people who really struggle with their bisexuality or their gay or lesbian status… I have to wonder if it is a bit insensitive to go around making bisexuality such a light game to play.

Granted in swingerland, sex is open and easy to come by….

Oh wait… it isn’t open… we have to have profile names and hide pictures and hide from neighbors what we do with others…

It isn’t easy because we as swingers make it difficult…

You cannot be straight as a female and still get profiles to want to fuck you… why? Because you have to be a bi female to get laid by a man….

Yep, that is the irony… if you are straight female you can’t fuck a man because him and his wife want a bi girl… but if you are a bi guy, you can’t get man or woman to look at your twice… no matter how hot you are… because you are a bi-guy.

I find it amazing sometimes how ridiculous swingers can be…

Will this ever change?

I am not sure if it will because many swingers are more comfortable complaining about the way things are than changing things… and how hard is it for people to state, I am a straight female and a bi male?

Obviously it is very hard. Even in progressive states that open their arms up to all kinds of unique situations people find themselves in… I am trying to be sensitive to all, don’t want to point out some and leave out some… but there are a few states that are very welcoming to all… not matter their orientation… but not in swingerville.

It is an odd statement to make about an ‘open minded’ lifestyle. But I have seen the same types of behaviors and views in the highly religious segments of society… claim to be one thing and prove to be totally different.

I personally am bisexual. I enjoy having sex with both men and women and when I say sex… I mean there are few things that I do not do with both of them. I enjoy the beauty of sex with men and women.

I am not bi for show or bi to get things started. I am seriously interested in having a MMF with two men who aren’t afraid to be who they are and explore the pleasures found between them and with me of course…

I hope that you will look deeper at the level of honesty you have with yourself and others… be honest about your sexuality. Whether you are straight, bisexual, or fluid depending on where and who…

Take control of your sexuality and you will find it to be a great deal more satisfying when you can be yourself and explore your sexuality to its fullest.

Muah Sophia

 

 

Bisexuality in Swinging, Who Is Really Bi?

A number of threads on a number of sites dealing with swinging will make assertions that more men are bisexual than listed as such and far less women are bisexual then are listed on their profiles. They (who are they? They are those who spout off statistics but have no proof of their numbers) say that men won’t list as bisexual due to the shunning that goes on in the lifestyle. And they (those same folks) say that women will claim bi as they are wanting to get laid and they trade BI for getting laid opportunities.

I am not claiming that men are not hiding their desire of bisexuality in the lifestyle. I am not claiming that men are not interested in exploring their bi side.

I know for a fact both of these are true as I have had a number of guys share with me their desires for bisexual encounters.

What I would like to know is… why is the lifestyle so fucked up?

Women who feel they must ‘play bi’ to get things started or to make their man happy… I don’t get… and if it is okay for women to ‘play bi’ why is it so bad for a man to actually want to be bi?

I have never understood the ‘play bi’ or ‘bi for show’ women. If you are not interested in bisexual sex, but just playing around with the idea and a kiss or two or a licking of a nipple… is that really bisexual sex?

Technically it is. I know that… but in the deeper level… are you really bi as in you want to have sex with another woman if all you want to do is make a guy happy or get things started because no one else knows how to move from “I want to fuck you” to actually fucking you?

I know for a fact that many swingers who are male have some real trouble getting from wanting to doing in the lifestyle even when the woman has given all kinds of signs of ‘I am ready, willing, and desiring you.’ So, they think that forcing women to pretend to be bisexual is the answer.

Umm, no it is not the answer.

I have heard/read people say that they tried bi and it wasn’t for them.

While I applaud them for trying it… and knowing it is not for them… is it really something that you have to try?

I mean… I know that I do not want to climb to the top of Mount Everest. I do not need to try to climb to the top of Mount Everest to know I don’t want to climb it…

I also know that from a very early age, there was something in me that wanted to explore sexually another female. I know that I have had a number of dreams about being with a woman sexually. I know that I have been approached as a young college student by a girl who really wanted to be my girlfriend. I know that I wanted to explore that and her but did not because I was afraid to deal with the consequences of it at the time. I know that when I find a woman in the lifestyle that is really into me and me into her it is a great experience.

I did not have to try it to see if I like it.

I don’t need to try collard greens to know I won’t like them. I can look at them, smell them, watch them being cooked and no that I am not likely to like them. I like fresh spinach and sauteed spinach but not the canned spinach. I don’t need to try it to see if I like it… so why the ‘tried bi and didn’t like it?’

I am just not sure why they feel they need to try it.

Do you try a ‘heterosexual’ partner out and decide that you don’t like him/her even if nothing about him/her appealed to you? Not even the desire to have fun sexually with them? Why try it out if you know nothing really appeals to you about it?

I have heard some guys share with me their willingness to try bi for me.

I am honest here… I am thrilled and annoyed by those statements…

I am thrilled because if they are in fact wanting to have the experience of exploring their bisexuality it is great…

But then I remember them saying ‘to try bi for me’…

Awesome, a male bi playtime to thrill me…

It is not the seeing the guys suck or fuck each other that gets me turned on… but to see the passion, the enjoyment, the desire for the experience that turns me on…

I am not talking deep passionate kissing and all that stuff… what I am talking about is the desire to explore this for their pleasure not mine.

Just like I don’t like the girl girl bi play for show for the same reason.

Seriously, if I want to touch boobies or pussy… I got my own. If I want to be fucked by a dildo… I got my own. If I want to kiss someone… I would rather kiss someone who wanted to kiss me rather than any ol’ girl would do… it is for show remember, not for ‘real’.

I have more to add to this… but I will add it tomorrow.

I haven’t been posting everyday lately… and it is because I am really busy with some other things… but I do have so many things I want to talk about…

Muah Sophia

Do Swinger Rules Hurt or Help Your Swinger Sex?

Hubby and I have one rule… we both have to agree. We don’t always see eye to eye on the swinging thing… like who or who not to fuck… but we agree on several key points…

We will probably always have a swinger state of mind.

We will probably always want to swing.

We will probably always want someone the other doesn’t want the spouse.

We will probably always want something the other doesn’t when the other does.

We do not have a lot of rules because we understand one basic fact. We can enjoy sex with other people and not hold a particular act sacred as in only done with each other. Our relationship is more than just holding kisses sacred or holding anal sacred… we believe what makes us a couple is more than a sex act… and therefore, no sex act that we want is held up to a sacred level.

I am sure you can guess that I am more vocal and more exploratory in swinging… or at least am willing to talk about it… which brings me to a point…

Sometimes spouses are not on the same page at the same time. When this happens… all kinds of rules pop up and then all kinds of trouble happens.

Think about it… when you tell someone – like a child – do not touch an outlet… that child will begin obsessing about touching that outlet. You tell a child he can’t have a piece of candy, a cookie, or whatever.. the child will throw a tantrum, sneak a cookie or piece of candy and you know they will do whatever they can to get the item they crave.

And you know what… you tell your spouse you can’t kiss… and each time there has been a couple that has told us they do not kiss… one of them did. EVERY SINGLE TIME. And it was never the person who demanded no kissing.

Whenever a spouse reminded their spouse to use a condom… that person who was reminded… tried to not use a condom… even when the condom was right there… EVERY SINGLE TIME. And we use condoms. But by telling someone over and over to remember to use a condom… the urge to not use a condom was there.

Soft swappers that are not ALLOWED to full swap… there is one person of the other couple to try to full swap… EVERY SINGLE TIME.

I would love to think it is because I have a magic pussy they can’t keep their cocks away from… or my hubby’s cock is just that wonderful… but sadly, it is only partially us… for the most part, it is because they were told they CAN’T do something. The other part is us… and here is why it is us… because we are not constricted by the rules of an insecure, jealous or clueless partner.

I am not trying to be mean… but when a person has insecurities, swinger sex sucks. When there is a jealous person, swinger sex sucks. When there is a clueless partner, swinger sex sucks. And by clueless… I mean the type of swinger who fails to realize what it takes to actually have swinger sex that is good, fun, full of passion.

We have been with so many swingers that had some insecurity about their body or their abilities or their relationship and you know what… it fucking sucked. We had to deal with them hiding their body part, focus on their partner more to make sure they didn’t do or say something that will hurt their feelings – like “I love your breasts” – because they feel that the only breasts their spouse can love is theirs.

Insecurities in swinging is very common. Very annoying. And everyone has them. The best swingers do not focus on their insecurities. They focus on their partners. The focus on the person they want to fuck. Not on themselves 24/7.

An insecure swinger will isolate themselves during the “get out there and flirt” state… they think someone will judge them… and they make sure someone can judge them by being isolated at the table…

A jealous swinger moves their insecurities out to the public and will make everyone feel bad about meeting them. Seriously… they will make life miserable for all the swingers they are in contact with. They will make sure everyone has a bad time… and then make sure they suffer a bit more.

The jealous swinger will make sure no one has fun… it HAS TO BE same bed and no real talking unless it is directed to them… no one can explore because of the million of rules that have been enforced so they can feel better by controlling everything. And when the jealous person has deemed ‘everything is done’ everyone must stop, even if they are not finished with the play or the act. And you know it never lasts long enough to make sure even their partner is satisfied. Nope, the jealous person must make life miserable for all.

The clueless swinger is one that is also ruled by their insecurities, jealousies and weird behavior and will sit there and wonder why no one is willing to reach out them or make a pass at them… they are clueless that their behavior of a ‘cold fish’, ‘ice queen’, ‘controlling ass’ and so forth is what is causing someone to ignore them.

But it is also more subtle…

The person who doesn’t like to email, text, or otherwise communicate with a prospective play partner… is quite clueless. This is more obvious when they complain they just don’t have as much fun because it doesn’t seem like their partner likes them.

How do you tell a person, ‘well, do something about it”?

I have seen women not reach out to my husband and their husband is talking my ear off… and when we get to the dinner table… him and I are really connecting, flirting, and wanting the dinner to be over… and my husband is sitting there trying to get the person to talk to him. And she won’t. And she gets pissed because her man and I are hitting it off. Very clueless person here and I am not sure why something as simple making a person feel wanted and desired is so damn difficult here.

I have a few guys I talk to and can send a picture of my pussy or tits… and I get some really odd comments. Now, I do not think you need to gush extensively about my pussy or tits… but when I am sending it in response to their comment about how depressing, sad, boring, or otherwise annoying day in an effort of trying to cheer them up… I kinda think more than ‘nice.’ should said… you know to show appreciation at the effort. I mean, do you really think I am going to send you another picture to get nice. For a guy, I think nice is like a woman’s fine… not as great an answer as you may think.

I have some guys who cannot pay a compliment to save their soul. It comes out as a backhanded compliment. Gotta tell you, a backhanded compliment does not instill warm fuzzies….

My point is this… do you really think I am going to instill any real effort going forward with these guys who don’t seem to get it… as in clueless as to what they are saying (writing) and how it appears to the person receiving it? Nope, I am not.

I am a selfish person… I want to spend time communicating with people who make me feel good. If you don’t make me feel good, I am not going to communicate with you. If you actually hurt my feelings, intentional or not… I am not going to communicate with you. That is just how I am. I am selfish that way.

I can have some really great conversations with people that make me feel good and make them feel good but sometimes, I wonder what the hell are these people thinking when they don’t bother with any communication and expect me to want to fuck them.

I want and need someone to reach out to me and connect with me when thinking about fucking me.

So, I mentioned this topic to several people before writing this blog post to see what I thought was similar to what they thought. And I thought I would ask about their views on this topic.

When couples have rules – spoken or unspoken… it causes a few issues to pop up when both sides are not fully in agreement with the rules. Those I spoke to agreed with that point. Being told ‘no’ tends to make the person denied that ‘thing’ want it more. And often the rules make no sense.

My husband has often been in a situation where the other female was not a ‘texter’ or otherwise a communicator and then they felt the disconnect when they arrived for the dinner, drinks, or play time… When you ask them why they don’t like to text… they say, they do not have time for all that. Yet, they want to feel wanted and they get upset when they see their husband and me feeling all kinds of wanted. The woman’s own rules of not wanting to text limits the ability to have some good swinger sex.

It is not really possible to go from really no communication to sitting at a dinner to getting naked and having swinger sex. You simply cannot get into the sexual vibe if you do not put out a sexual vibe. How can you put out a sexual vibe if you are isolating yourself from the entire group (the other 3) because your rule is you don’t text.

Could you have a phone conversation? Send a few emails?

Often, the person who does not want to text has this mentality that as soon as their potential play partner sees them they will be full of sexual giddiness and they will make them feel so sexy, so desired, so… you know what… I want to scream at them “are you really that fucking clueless?”

If you are at a club or house party, there is an expectation that sexy thing will happen and often you gain that vibe immediately upon anticipation of attending. Believe me there are a few wet blankets still that throw their rules in the mix and dampen and kill the sexual energy vibe… but for the most part, there is an expectation of sexual vibes and sexual energy and sexual activity…

Yet, on a one on one date, few share that… and if you have so many rules that you cannot and will not let anyone enjoy the sexy fun… the vibe is gone… absolutely gone.

I am not anti-rules… I mentioned we have one… what I am is anti-ridiculous-rules-to-prevent-anyone-from-having-fun…

Seriously, what kind of sexy fun can you really have if you have a no kissing rule. I cannot tell you how many times we have run across and tried to get passed someone’s no kissing rule… only to have one part of the couple kiss one of us… so what is the point of a rule that says no kissing?

I am not sure… but I have gotten into a lot of discussions with non-kisser that wanted to fuck me and not respect that I need kissing to get that sexy energy vibe… and they think I am forcing them to kiss… I am not… I am telling you, that as long as you have that stupid rule (and yes, I think it is a very stupid rule) I will not fuck you.

I have seen so many stupid rules placed on lifestyle play that make no sense, are repeatedly broken, and just make swinger sex boring as shit…

I really get tired of these ridiculous rules people have and try very hard to avoid them. I have no desire to play with someone that has a shit load of rules that make it only possible to do one or two things only in the name of sex… “I am sorry, today it is okay for you to kiss my left nipple but not my right because of why?”

I am going to go out on a limb and say that if you have to have a huge list of rules… or you find yourself purposely NOT ENGAGING prospective playmates… or struggling with jealousy and insecurities to the point no one has any fun… maybe, just maybe swinging is not for you.

Sex in the swinger context is supposed to be fun, liberating, exploratory, a bit wild (it is a kink after all – swinging)… and if you have so many rules that sex is so boring people wonder WTF are you swinging for??? Maybe you are not really suited to be a swinger.

The idea of swinging is often very tantalizing for people, the act of swinging is often very different for them… they want the tantalizing feelings… the erotic environment… but because of their ‘whatever’ they make swinging clinical, boring, full of rules and very restrictive… they also talk about leaving the lifestyle and do take extended breaks. What they fail to see is they are the reason swinging is boring or unpleasant or not what they expected…

You have to do the work to have a successful swinging adventure… that means – connecting with people, wanting people, showing passion, desire, need, and want… you have to make people feel how much you want them…

And I am sorry, a swinger so full of rules or unwilling to engage sends a message of how little they want to swing…

Ain’t that really a shame… swinging is fun… as long as you invest in the adventure…

Muah Sophia

The Curious and The Courageous

It seems like a good number of folks I run across on the sites I am on have a problem with their image. There are a good number of folks that do not want folks to know who they fuck, if they fuck, or when they fuck, and how often during the week they fuck.

I can make a judgement call on them and say “Anyone who does not want anyone else to think they have sex are curious only and not courageous enough to swing.”

I have no idea if that is the real reason they don’t want anyone to know why they are or are not having sex with others… but I am basing this judgement on my perceptions, not reality.

For me, I am making a judgement call on them based on their behavior. I may be very wrong on this statement… but just so you know, I am using this as an example only…

It doesn’t appear to me that many people understand that making a judgement call on an individual is very different from judging a group of people based on one or two criteria…

Believe me, if you read my last post… you would know that I am aware of what taking a few facts and ignoring other facts and assuming you know something has some pretty nasty consequences…

When you are making a judgement call on an individual or couple as to whether they are ‘sponge worthy’ (Seinfeld reference)… and take into consideration a multitude of facts and decide to go ahead or decide to run away… that is different, very different than saying because ‘anyone who does this’ is ‘that’ and you will avoid them for that very reason carte blanche.

I posted a response to a thread where someone was wondering if they post a rendezvous too often and then said they noticed some people post rendezvous far more often and they would never consider them…

The understanding is the rendezvous postings are largely hit or miss and if you post one it does not mean you will get anyone to respond. And if you get a response, it does not mean you will meet them. It also does not mean that you will fuck them.

Yet, judgement has come down that those who post too often are desperate – to desperate for anyone to consider them as someone to meet… yet, the question I have is… how often is too often?

And if you post often and have less than 1% of response, are you really desperate?

I mean, maybe you like to play the lottery and you know your chance of winning the lottery is slim to none, but hey, you have nothing to lose but a dollar… so you play each week and nothing happens but nothing really is lost but $2 a week and your time doing it…

Same thing could be said for a rendezvous… you post a lot and every once in a while you meet someone and let’s say maybe a friendship develops… or not a friendship but a fun night of hanging together…. or if you are really lucky… they are cool, you like them, they like you and you fuck till you are wore out….

In the world of swinging, isn’t that what you would think is one way of making it happen?

Here is what I posted in response to the opening post….

I find it interesting how many have said they have not really gotten much (responses, commitments, or play) from using rendezvous… yet someone who posts one too often is less desirable because of their ‘frequency’ and assumed high mileage. (BIG SIGH HERE – high mileage again)…

I will say we have never posted one on here… the number of folks near us just isn’t enough to put ourselves through the feelings of dejection – that nobody wanted to meet us… the numbers are simply not high enough to be worth the effort. We would go on another site we are on where the numbers are higher in our area if we want to try to see who is out there interested… however, our go to efforts is to host a house party and invite folks or do the ‘couple date’. 

The only thing I find frustrating about Rendezvous is we cannot turn off the notifications of them from those who are so very far away and on our friends list. While I would love to meet those on our friends lists… it is just sad that I can’t answer YES! in response to their rendezvous clear across the country. 

But back to my original point… isn’t it kinda… umm judgmental to assume and label someone who posts a rendezvous ‘too often’ in one’s opinion as unworthy of anyone’s time or attention when we hear how many do not get any responses to their postings and even if they do get a response… it does not guarantee a meet or a fun greeting or even play… it just means they post an awful lot hoping they will find the right person also looking and interested in possibly seeing if it works out… and more than likely it doesn’t for whatever reason… and well… maybe next time… so they post again and again hoping to raise their chances for a successful effort….

Kinda like the $1 Billion dollar lottery happening now… so many seeking to win the lottery and the nothing coming out of their efforts. 

I kinda wonder if this all goes back to so many people believing that sex is bad. Sex with more than one person is bad. That sex with many people is worse. Will be honest… I figured a person who is on a swinger site which is known for ‘finding folks to fuck’ no matter your process of finding those people would understand that some folks don’t have a problem with others knowing they like to have sex and create opportunities for that to happen. 

Just my thoughts… 

Sophia

I don’t get a lot of things in the sexually social adventure we are on… why so many people want to be a part of the lifestyle, yet are afraid to admit to themselves or others…. they want sex with others… as if there is something shameful about it…

I guess if you are ashamed that you like sex and you like sex with others… maybe you fall in the line of curious… curious about it but too afraid to move to doing it as you are afraid you will be judged… yet, while you sit there and judge others…

Yeah, my post with the statement of judgmental… bothered some folks… and a few of them I know are very judgmental and really hate to be called that… as it hits home…

But here is the thing… you can make judgment calls on individuals you want to meet and do not want to meet… but to label a whole group based on perceived actions… well, that makes a person judgmental not making judgment calls.

I think that is where most people find the problem with the whole using data to make a judgement call and judging people. When making a judgement call, you use facts. When judging a group of people based on your perceptions without any supporting facts… you come across as an asshole or bitch…

I am quite curious how many of those judging others on their sexually social adventure are as courageous as those who are honest and willing to give folks a shot based on what they actually know about a person versus their perception….

Hope your sexually social adventure is enjoyable, you courageous swingers, you!

Sophia

 

 

Understanding the Double Standard….

Oddly enough there are double standards you will run across on this adventure… It really is interesting to see how many people accept this double standard all because they want a little something… and somehow they think allowing the continuation of a double standard it will allow all their dreams to come true.

There are many ‘sub – topics’ in this topic so it may be a long post or a couple posts…

Here are a few areas of double standards in the lifestyle…

• the expectation of bi – activity because you are female
• women can be rude and disrespectful and it goes unchallenged
• the lack of wooing one women to another women but the expectation of ‘wanting’ the other woman
• women are proud to be bi – men are treated like outcasts

The area I am going to start with is the ‘lack of wooing one woman to another woman but the expectation of ‘wanting’ the other woman…. I believe the other parts fall into line after this… I will walk you through my thought process…

In previous posts I have mentioned how I need to know you want me. While in my head I was writing about a guy and a girl… as this is most commonly thought coupling…  it makes a lot of sense… I mean, I am not going to get wet about meeting you if you do not make me want you…

I will not make any move towards you if you are not showing some interest in me…

If you do not try to communicate with me… I am not going to be interested in you. Not at all.

This makes sense… I am a not a mind reader. I am not going to spend my night acting like a love sick junior high girl… crushing on someone who doesn’t know I exist.

I need to know you want me.

The same happens with women. I need to know you want me.

I am bi. I have said this before… I am bi but that does not mean that I am actually a lesbian putting up with cocks to get the pussy I crave.

In fact, I would never be a good lesbian. I do not desire to have pussy all the time. I do not desire to put up with women. I am a woman, I know what I speak of… we are not all that wonderful all the time… And those moments when men want to run away and not look back… Yeah, I would be there running along side of you.

I do not find every tit and pussy attractive. It may be because I am a woman and not a man feeling horny and desperate to put my cock into anything that will allow it…

I know, that sounds quite mean right there… however, I am quoting several guys who I have texted, chatted, or emailed who told me that as a man they will fuck just about anyone as long as they let them. Now, I have changed up the words, but the intent of that statement is very true… I changed the words to protect the…. ‘innocent’???? LOL

But I am not that way.

I will not suck on a nipple just because it is shoved in my face.

I will not dive into a pussy just because the woman is spread eagle in front of me.

Just as it is with men… there are different women that do different things to my want level…

And here is something I must admit… not every pussy is pretty, smells good, or taste good.

More importantly, if there is not a connection between me and the other woman… that amazing transformation that happens when you are so turned on because the connection is physical, chemical, and whoa…. emotional as in you have that emotional connection between them… the want and need is built and you fail to notice the little things that when you are not really into them you do and then focus on and focus on and start to freak yourself out because you focused on it because you are not really into it….

And yes, this happens with men and women…

If there is not a full-fledged connection, chemistry, and desire… you will not have that rush of sex hormones/chemicals making all those things that annoy or could annoy… flush out of your mind allowing you to have an incredibly erotic moment…

At least that is what I need.

I need that desire and want and need I spoke of previously to play with women… just as I do to play with men..

It isn’t as if I need to have months of build up. I can host a party at my house and meet someone for the first time that night and want to play with her… but only if she has shown some desire towards me and I showed desire towards her… just like with the guys…

Here is where the double standard comes into play… many women and their spouses think that just because two women are naked in a room together… there is some great pussy power that will make us want to play with each other…

Or that if I am attracted to the MR that I am going to be attracted to the MRS.

Or if my husband finds the other Mrs attractive and wants to fuck her silly, I would want to as well… as if hubby and I are one person and we want the same type of woman…

Women wanting to play with other women is not a standard – given – or otherwise guarantee between two women.

Now there are some occasions where alcohol is involved and those women will muff dive into any woman…

Or there are occasions where one woman is truly a lesbian hiding in bi clothing… oh wait… that is a misconception… most lesbians are skeptical – according to many of the lesbian sites – of women who ‘swing’ and claim bi status… that they are really only in it for the girl/girl play…

Why? Because as I read my due diligence before posting on this topic.. most women who claim bi status are only in it for the show of it…

Yes, a bold statement… but it is likely true… why do I say that? I see many women who claim bi whatever and would rather not do anything… when a husband is forcing the issue… women run for the hills…

It is a delicate walk on a thin line of bi and forced bi… when someone tells me I need to do anything I ask myself… who died and made them boss…

And when a guy tells me that I need to suck the other woman’s pussy… it ain’t going to happen…

If it doesn’t happen spontaneously then it isn’t fun… forced bi play feels… well forced… and if someone phones it in… it feels like they are phoning it in…

You know the type… titty play only… or they receive but don’t give oral…

I have been with some women who flirted with me… responded to my flirting… and the chemistry that built during the pre-meet and the meet…

So I ask, why don’t more women flirt with the other women?

Why don’t women flirt more?????

I am not kidding, women love to be flirted with… but when you flirt with them as a woman… they are thrown for a loop… and then when you see one woman flirting with another woman… and they are both very and truly into it…

Yeah, that is what you expect it to be… women wanting to show their desire for each other much as the men and women do…

Some of the best times I have had with other women started that way… yet it appears to be somewhat rare…

Expectation versus Desire…

There shouldn’t be a double standard there….

Well, got a busy day ahead of me… gonna have to stop here and pick up later…

Hope you are enjoying your sexually social adventure….

Sophia