I want you to want me… pretty simple huh?
Not really.
I am surprised how many swingers do not get this. A few days ago on chat someone jumped on and was whining because his wife had surgery a few days prior (got a boob job) and he has been without sex for 8 days. I knew what he was doing… fishing for sympathy and to get someone to chat with him until he got off…
Well, I don’t feel sorry for him because it was 8 days without sex. His wife voluntarily had her breasts enlarged. She voluntarily had surgery. It wasn’t like she had cancer, severely broken bones, was in an accident and had internal bleeding or anything else. She planned to have surgery and I am guessing you agreed to it… so here you are whining because she is still in pain and cannot have sex.
BIG FUCKING DEAL!
I am not interested in this guy, just ‘spoke’ to him for the first time that night… there was no connection between us. There was nothing but a one-sided need to get off… anyone would do.. there was nothing that made me special in his eyes.
On this blog…. I wrote about no more first dates. I wrote about chase. I wrote about chase and capture. I wrote about the pitfalls of no chase.
I am a girl who likes to be wanted. My personality is made up in such as way that I enjoy being wanted. But my personality also is one that likes to have someone that wants me – want me for me. Not just what I can do for them.
Complex? Not really.
Everyone is like that.
The problem is not everyone understands the entire give and take concept in life…
If you give… you should have something you can take with you….
Why? Because the person appreciates what you gave and feels a desire to give back to you…
It is not keeping score….
It is giving freely because someone gave to you first…
However, people are inherently selfish….
Like the chat guy… everyone was getting tired of him whining about his lack of sex….
You know what buddy… you have a computer (you were on it when whining) go look up some porn, grab your dick by your hand and jack off…
You gave nothing to anyone worth anything… you got nothing in return…
How do I know this is true? Because when no one bothered to take him up on the whining/no sex conversation after the initial… “WOW, hope Mrs is healing nicely, not in a lot of pain, and other words of sympathy” he jumped off… I am assuming just as horny as when he got on since he didn’t get off…
You know I love to spin a tale of sexy words to others… but I am not an erotica generator… my specialty is not free… you have to give if you want to receive (more than once)…. usually it is a mutually satisfying exchange… at least that is what I am told…. but if you think that you can contact me however you want and I am going to spin a tale… well you have to avoid the following:
- whining
- asking me what am I wearing
- start of with BDSM and assuming I am a sub
- don’t act desperate… not attractive on anyone
What can you do?
- take interest in me – like I am a person – like what I will do for you….
I HATE first dates. If there has been no interest in getting to know me at least a little bit before the first date….. the first date sucks. Similar to the whole horny whiner on chat….
Why… because I want you to want me….
Pretty simple.
I want to want you….
I would not be on the date (in theory) if I didn’t WANT TO WANT YOU….. I am looking for reasons to want you from the moment of our first contact – even if it is a perv on a profile…. I am one of those few swingers that look for reasons to want you… to fuck you… to befriend you… rather than find a reason to NOT WANT YOU….
So why aren’t you doing something to make me want you?
How does that happen if you have shared nothing with me….
I am not talking about the dirty details of your skeletons in your closet…
I am not talking about the millions of rules you have for your swinging adventure…
I am talking about feeling a spark of interest…
I am talking about feeling a bit of desire to know more…
I am talking about flirting with me…..
I am talking about having the balls to go ahead and make it known in front of your wife and my husband you want to get to know me….
kiss me…
touch me….
feel me next to you….
and that you want to fuck me….
I want you to want me….
Why is this so hard?
What makes a swinger make the entire first date so clinical?
What makes swingers think that there will be instant chemistry when we meet when there is nothing whatsoever between us…
Not a bit of connection…
And no one wants to do anything to build the connection.
And one person needs the connection.
And one person doesn’t get the connection and sits there wondering – while appearing to be having a good time – just what do they think will happen…. I am not going to fuck you ever. NO chance in hell. You have not expressed a desire to fuck me. Yet you keep going on about your rules, experiences, and all the other talk about swinging… we aren’t swinging… there is no reason to swing.
Now, these people often are very fun to be around. Very interesting. Very cool.
Just no connection.
It is like there is an opportunity to make a good first impression and you passed it up. Nothing you do at the time of the first date will increase the connection that was passed.
Well at least for me…
I know I am not alone…
How do I know this? Because a lot of people have shared this same sentiment.
I am not saying you have to spend hours each day texting me. I am not saying you have to email me constantly or call me… or anything like that…
But you must make me feel like you want me.
And you must make me want you.
There is the old give and take…..
How do you do this?
I am sorry, but I am not going to give you all a bunch of individual steps on how to do this as many will take it literally and think this is the only way….
But take a look at the profile.
Take a look at the pictures.
Take an interest in the person whose pants you want to get into…
Try to communicate with them.
Make an effort.
You will find that if you make an effort to show interest in someone they will respond.
It may not be what you want… but it is a response.
Take a moment and look at those moves/words that worked and those that did not work. Analyze why they worked. And didn’t work.
But you know what… you really should take the time to build a connection.
“I want you to want me”
I want you to want me
I need you to need me
I’d love you to love me
I’m begging you to beg me
I want you to want me
I need you to need me
I’d love you to love me
I’ll shine up the old brown shoes
Put on a brand new shirt
I’ll get home early from work
If you say that you love me
Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you crying?
Oh, didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you crying?
Feeling all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dying
Oh, didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you crying?
I want you to want me
I need you to need me
I’d love you to love me
I’m begging you to beg me
I’ll shine up the old brown shoes
Put on a brand-new shirt
I’ll get home early from work
If you say that you love me
Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you crying?
Oh, didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you crying?
Feeling all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dying
Oh, didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you crying?
Feelin’ all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dying
Oh, didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you crying?
I want you to want me
I need you to need me
I’d love you to love me
I’m begging you to beg me
I want you to want me
I want you to want me
I want you to want me
I want you to want me
The only first dates I will go on anymore are ones where there was a CHASE that happened prior to the meet. I will only go on a first date if I have to meet them… I have to talk to them in person. I have to kiss them. I have to touch them. I have to fuck them.
I have to get hubby to understand this.
If you want me to be your wing man step up to the game yourself. I have done all kinds of things as your wing man, putting your needs first, your personality quirks before mine…. I need a wing man who understands my need for a connection and encourages the connection.
If there is no connection, there will be no first date.
If there is no connection with me and hubby wants a first date… go solo my friend… I am so okay with that you have no idea. I will not get jealous, feel bad, or hate you for it… Erotic Pride and all that…
I do not need to be tethered to you… I do not need same bed, same room, or at the same time…
I do need a connection… a want… a desire… with me to him/her and him/her with me….
If you want the play time with the couple, you want to meet them… you want to do whatever without the connection I need… go for it..
We have hall passes for a reason.
I cannot do anymore first dates without a connection before hand.
They are about as clinical as a gyno exam. Except I don’t get a pat on the outer thigh to tell me to close my legs…. those pats telling you to go ahead and close your legs are so reassuring… LOL
I believe you may have success at this hubby… if they do not want to get to know me before we meet… and are only communicating with you… it may not matter if I am around… maybe they want to have a second man… DP is always fun… being fucked while sucking a cock is also fun…. go for it…
It isn’t like I am gonna want the guy or the girl… kinda need that connection…
I kinda need you to want me….
The nice thing about our sexually social adventure… it is always changing and adapting as we learn more about what we want, need, will put up with….
Hope you are figuring your sexually social adventure out!
Sophia