Tag Archives: contract to fuck

What Does Flirting Mean To You?

I am a flirt. I can go to a grocery store and flirt with the checkout folks, people I see there… just about anyone… I guess I see flirting as things as simple as smiling at a person, complimenting them, joking with them…. just about anything that makes they feel good about themselves…

I love seeing a person’s face light up when they are noticed by another person…. and that person not only noticed them but actually spoke to them in a friendly way… not the standard, hi how are you…. and look away to indicate they don’t give a shit…

To me, flirting is letting a person know they exist…

They exist in your radar…

They exist in  your radar and what they have to say matters…

They exist in your radar, what they have to say matters, and you are actually interested at that moment in the interaction happening…

Flirting to me does not mean that I want to have sex or a life long relationship with that person…

Certainly not with the check out person at the grocery store I see for what maybe 10 minutes if no price check is needed…

But I left that person with a good impression of me and about themselves. Someone actually cared to be real and authentic with them…

I know that most people think flirting is fake… you are just saying nice things to get what you want…

What on earth do I want from the checkout person at the grocery store… my food scanned and my bill paid for… that is their job… I don’t have to flirt with them to get them to do my job…

What I want from that check out person I am flirting with outside the job they are doing… not a damn thing…

But what I am doing is interacting with people in a manner that tells them they matter even for the few minutes they are checking out my food.

I have gone to the stores at different times after one such interaction and was surprised at how they remembered me… One 10 minute interaction with me and they remembered me.

One person told me she felt so good talking to me the last time I was in her lane. She complimented me about how nice and real I seemed.

She said she had a smile on her face the rest of the day.

It changed her outlook towards all her customers.

More of them noticed her because she was smiling from our encounter.

I made a difference in her life…

Because I flirted with her.

I was really interested in her for those few moments and nearly a month later she remembered me and made sure I knew about how I had made a difference in her day… and still remembers it…

To me, that is why I like to flirt… yes, very selfish of me… I love to flirt because I make a difference in a person’s life even if for a few minutes.

I have talked about being approachable before… lots of time before.. and so many people hide behind the shy shit….

Guess what folks… I have been shy before in my life… I have missed a number of awesome opportunities to get to know others because of this shy shit…

I choose daily to reach out to people. To fight my insecurities… my questions of should I say hi first… should I let them go first…

Why the hell should I do that….

If I want to say hi to you and you respond in a positive way… AWESOME

In the event you look at me (or what I write) and ignore me… well too bad for you… not me… You made it clear what you are like… I can move on…

In the lifestyle flirting is often seen as ‘if you flirt with someone you are not attracted to you are sending out a message that you want to fuck them’.

I am not sure where that rule is posted “Flirting is a contract for fucking.” But it isn’t in my rule book.

To me flirting in the lifestyle has multiple definitions or maybe I should say possibilities attached to it…

In no particular order….

1. Flirting means….. I am interested in finding out more about you

2. Flirting means… I have no idea about you… hope you don’t mind me complimenting you a bit to see if you open up some….

3. Flirting means… I am trying to break the ice with a couple, date, or at a party… or on chat…

4. Flirting means… I would really like to ask you to meet… but I need to gauge the likelihood of being rejected… or if you are positive/optimistic… my chances of being accepted…

5. Flirting means… I find your ass… boobs… cock… chest… whatever attractive and while we may not ever play… nice ass

6. Flirting means… I would like to fuck you at some point…. just being honest…

7. Flirting means… I a sociopath and trying to woo you through false compliments… just seeing if you are really reading this…

No where in those definitions/situations does it say flirting is a contract for fucking. If you flirt with someone on a chat – whether you live a few miles or many states away… chatting and flirting does not mean  you will fuck them… flirting just opens the opportunity for the chance to see if they might possibly want to if everything you said about yourself is true and  your pictures are accurate and you don’t come off as an ass or bitch…….

You get the picture…

Flirting is not a contract for fucking. It opens the door to seeing if you are ‘sponge worthy’…. Seinfeld reference…. sorry, just had too…

Flirting is not a checklist of all you have to do when you do get to the fucking part…

Just because you flirted and talked about being in a gang bang with 7 men and not one of them using a condom and someone sucking all that cum out of your pussy… does not mean that is what he needs to line up for you…

Flirting in this case is opening up a dialogue… a fun way to tell your boundaries without out that damn list of rules…

Man do I get tired of reading all kinds of rules on profiles and then when they flirt with me via chat or text all but like 2 rules are blown away… Maybe they should just say… chat with me if you want to know what I like… way simpler and less confusing… but it still doesn’t mean that we will do it all if any of what was flirted about…

I think some people fail to understand that subtle difference… flirting is conversation about what you are thinking… wanting… fantasizing… and is not a script for the first play date… or the second… it just opens you up to know what another person’s boundaries…

If you have read my blog or forum posts… there are many things that I enjoy… one of them is guy/guy porn… and I would absolutely love to be a part of a mmf. I even wrote a story about a mmf on the blog. When I chat with some about mmf I don’t want them to do the mmf (or whatever the topic of chat was…) exactly as I wrote it in the story or in our chats/texts…. I want them to come up with something I hadn’t thought about… I would want the whole situation to be organic… to flow naturally to that point… I would want it to as far from scripted as possible… I don’t want people to do what I already wrote about… that isn’t a fantasy to me… I already wrote about it… I want something I hadn’t written about…

Some of the best things in this adventure that happened to me are things I would not have imagined… I had not written… it just happened because the events led to that… That is what I want… that is what I like…

So if I flirt with you… if I tell you things that I want or like or whatever… do the opposite… flirting is not a contract to fuck or a checklist of how to fuck…

Flirting is fun… or should be… it should be a testament to how you like to interact with others… it shouldn’t be forced… it shouldn’t be awkward… it should flow naturally…

If it doesn’t…. practice flirting… it isn’t hard… really it isn’t… there is always one thing about a person you can compliment them on… be real and authentic… those who flirt that way… really makes a difference…

This week I have truly enjoyed hubby getting on chat and flirting with the ladies… it is exciting to see… erotic pride at its best…. he just needs to use some of his good shit on me… at least once in a while…. LOL…. but even if he forgets… thanks to all my ‘friends’ who flirt with me just because they like too and even if they are hoping to get into my panties…. sure makes me feel good… which often leads to…. well…. it never hurts to flirt.

And if you think you really can’t flirt… try sharing some puns… that gets them too…. and oddly enough… makes flirting happen between many….

Hope you are enjoying your sexually social adventure…

Sophia