The recent Thanksgiving holiday was a great opportunity for my Vanilla Crush to miss me. Right before the holiday he sent me a text informing me that he sent an email to me and the rest of the group he trained around Halloween. I responded, “I know, I received it.” He said he wanted to make sure I had. I said thank you and he said “you are welcome.” I made a joke about how polite we both are… he responded by sending me a smiley face. I responded by sending him a kiss in the form of red lips.
The next thing I knew, my phone was ringing. I answered it.
I had seen his name pop up so I answered it “Well hot damn, I am so glad it’s you sweetie.”
He stammered a bit, then he said, “Are you really glad I called?”
I told him of course I was glad he called. I enjoy talking to him. After asking if I was busy and me telling him that I always have time for him… I asked him what he needed. In one of our other conversations he told me that I didn’t need a valid reason to talk to him… I could even come up with silly reasons to talk to him. Silly reasons to talk to a man? Me? Never!!!
So he reminded me that I could talk to him at anytime I wanted. I told him I know. I remember him telling me that… so he asks… why haven’t you called me then?
Hmm, what to say?
I told him that I wanted to talk to him… but I wasn’t sure if he really wanted to talk to me… I mean, really want to talk to me about something not work related… he told me that he would always want to talk to me… I made a few jokes and he said “Seriously, I always enjoying talking to you.”
I joked again that I was blushing.
He stammered again and asked me if I minded him calling. Not at all I said. He asked if I was alone in the office. I was at the time. I told him yes. I asked if I needed to be alone in the office. He said it may be a little easier to talk to me if no one else could hear our conversation.
I asked if I needed to be worried. Was he going to break up with me? I was laughing when I asked that… he asked me if we had anything happening that would require a breakup? I said not yet, but I am optimistic.
He said that is what I wanted to talk about, just what this is and is this something that can go somewhere? I said he can ask me anything. He said “Okay, hopefully I make this awkward.”
He told me that he is in fact attracted to me and he know that I am married. He knows that I said we have an open marriage. He is not sure what exactly that means in general and for him and for me. And my husband. He has some questions and would like to know more about all this.
Some of this we had already talked about so I answered his questions. He asked me if I was attracted to him. Yes. I find him attractive and funny and interesting. He asked me if I wanted to have a relationship with him or just sex. I asked him what he wanted. He then asked me how does this usually go? I told him that the official rule book on vague sexual activities is rather unclear on how this is supposed to go… so we could just wing it and do what feels good. He laughed and said, ‘no seriously, how does this work?’
I had to have some more fun with him… I asked are you unsure how sex work or the ENM part of it? He stammered, “I know how sex works!” I joked, “well, if we need to take it slow and experiment over and over to make sure”… he realized that I was joking again…
I asked him if he is looking for a relationship? He said in general terms, no… but he figured that if we got to know each other more and then had sex it would be like a relationship… I agreed, it would be like a friends style relationship that included sex… but I didn’t know if he wanted to have the label of friendship, relationship or just fuck buddies. We can make that is easy peasy as we want or as formal as we want… it really doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be as simple as we want it to be. I would love for it to be simple and fun.
He wants that too. He just isn’t sure of how to go about this…
Really, I don’t either… each person, each situation is so very different.
We talked a bit longer and about other things… like Thanksgiving plans… I had to make a few phone calls and had to go… he asked if he could text me… I said sure, but I hope he didn’t miss me too much.
Today my phone chirps… the text says… “Is it crazy that I missed talking with you so much?” I mentioned that I didn’t actually know he missed me… he said he has wanted to chat with me all week… he kept thinking of reasons to reach out to me but talked himself out of it… worried I would be annoyed.
I told him that I would not have been annoyed. I would have loved to chat with him. He asked why he missed chatting with me so much. He was really trying to get to the bottom on why this is so weird for him. I didn’t know it was ‘so weird’… but it probably because he is interested in a married woman and wouldn’t be cheating but just having fun… and that was something he was trying to wrap his head around.
Yes, that is something he was thinking about… he wanted to understand more about that… That is something that is a bit weird for many who find out that I am ENM… how does this work…
We had to end our chat this morning before we could go into that area too much… but he wants to understand how this works… how this will work for us… and how he will fit into this world…
Before the call ended, he told me that I am constantly on his mind… he can’t wait until we can arrange time to get together… and well… have sex.
Then he asked if it was okay to state that he wanted to have sex with me?
I shocked him when I said “I hope so, I really want to fuck you!”
I guess I come of a lot more professional at work than I thought…
Even when flirting!