Tag Archives: Friends and swingers

Wow, A Lot Has Happened

Well, since the last post there has been a lot of things that have happened. Some I can share on here, some I cannot.

First of all… I found out three days after my birthday that I had a brain tumor. Gotta say it put a damper on many fun plans I had and really made my life a bit of an adventure. And not necessarily one I wanted to go on… but, what can you do.

I had brain surgery to remove the tumor on April 3rd. It has been an interesting process of finding out you had something big happening and the road to recovery. I won’t bore you with all the details of the road to recovery because I swear there is something new and annoying happening each and every week from some side effect of medication, surgery, or both.

I do have brain cancer and about to start radiation treatment. The medical professionals believed I had the worst brain cancer one could have, but after two prestigious labs investigated it and couldn’t understand it as it appeared to be the worst cancer, it was in fact not the worst despite the appearance.

YAY me.

The treatment for the cancer is just radiation at this point. Another YAY me.

I have been in contact with many guys I have played with before and some that want to play with me when things get back to normal or as one has said, ‘as normal as things get with you’. I had to appreciate that quite a bit. He get’s me. I am as far from normal as one can get in many ways… and having a bit of a miracle happen with my brain tumor… yeah, that is not normal – hence the two labs seeing what they saw and wondering what the fuck is going on…

But many of the guys I had been with are having some difficulty with the diagnosis I have. One cannot stand to think of me having a tumor, brain surgery or brain cancer and has only contacted me less than a handful of times. I get it. He texted me a day or two before I announced my brain tumor status and I had said nothing to him about my ‘issues’ I was having. And they were significant issues… loss of physical and cognitive abililities because of the swelling of the brain that was caused by the tumor. We hadn’t talked in quite some time before his random text and I wasn’t really ready to share the news until I had the MRI. And then I needed to let it sink in before I announced it. Despite him living only 2 hours away, it felt like he was a world away as he knew so little of what I was going through.

One guy I was working on meeting up with when he traveled 5 hours from where I lived has not contacted me after the text I received post announcement on Kasidie. I am assuming, since he really is a sweetheart, that the announcement of my tumor was too much for him. It is not like I can text him and ask him “WTF”… because that is just rude. I am left to assume that the reality of what is going on with me is too much for him. I am okay with that… really I get it.

There is one guy who lives quite a bit away that has become a good friend through out the time post announcement on Kasidie. He and I had some interaction on the forums, but nothing really big. He reached out after I announced my brain tumor and we have been in rather regular contact since. We have texted for quite a while and he has been very encouraging and let’s me change the topic so it is not about me and my tumor, cancer, recovery, seizures and so on… we talk about a lot of different topics and when the topics are too funny, challenging, sexy, or whatever it may be, he gives me a call and we chat for a long time on the phone.

Makes you wonder why so few swingers actually talk on the phone. I love it… and when we are talking about things that don’t matter (in the grand scheme of things) but are just fun to get off your chest or mind… random and funny things… or annoying things… or something that happened… you know the shit friends share…

And that is what he has become. A friend. And I like it. We can talk about so many things that don’t matter in the grand scheme of things… and then he will ask me “so, are you really doing okay?”

In the short time we have been talking… and by talking I mean on the phone, he has gotten to where he knows when I am putting on a good front or when I am really struggling but hiding it… as he says, ‘not hiding it too well from me darling, but good try.’

First of all, that is sexy as fuck.

Second of all, it is really cool that someone is willing to pay attention to the verbal and non-verbal cues I am giving off… and you know what, I crave that in the interactions I have with others… real opportunity to have real conversations and have someone actually take interest and listen and hear what is being said and not said.

Of course, I know he wants in my panties… it is okay, I so want to fuck him too…

He has such a good chance of getting in those panties… because he took the time to get to know me.

Did I happen to say how sexy that is to me?

Very fucking sexy.

Of the guys I have met and played with and the guys I was making plans to see… this one has to be the one who made the biggest impact on me and my recovery. He was the one who saw me and was willing to meet me where I was with what I needed.

He was the most consistent in his communication. We do not talk every single day, but neither do I receive breadcrumbs… google breadcrumbing and make sure you are not a breadcrumber…

He took the time to be honest with me about how he felt about what I was going through. Good grief… a man who actually was honest and shared truth with me… if it wasn’t for him I would not think such a man existed.

He tells me about his life and what is going on with him so that I can know him. For a person who loves making connections with others and the state of the world as it has been since late March and all of April and most of May – Covid 19 and brain surgery recovery… this is an awesome gift I have received.

Oh, before you begin to wonder… no he is not really that perfect… there is something that he doesn’t want to accept and keeps ignoring me when I say it… and it is not related to my brain cancer… and he has a few other quirks that are annoying as hell… and are humorous because he does them to ‘impress’ me… but whatever… I am recovering…

The other day I received an invite – opening text on KIK from a guy that I have mentioned on this blog a few times… an older than me guy that fancies himself so damn irresistable that I want to talk to him despite me writing on Kasidie forums and here and on social media platforms to leave me the fuck alone. He reached out to me this past week and I could not believe it…

I am from Wisconsin (grew up there) and heard as a young child adults saying to and about other adults and children “You are dumber than a box of rocks!” Now, this saying is similar in meaning to “Bless Your Heart” as one hears in the South, just not as passive-aggressive… we in the Midwest assume if you are dumber than a box of rocks, hiding the insult in passive-aggressive wording makes the impact of the statement less powerful.

I told this man in as many ways as one can and often in the most direct approach possible and I love the word assertive – but some times I was more than assertive… but he just kept trying.

One has to believe he subscribed to the belief “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”

He truly needs to stop trying.

I get this message from him “I hope and pray that you are feeling and doing much better. I think of you often. [his name]”

Now, I tell you what… I believe he has seen something of mine from possibly Facebook (I may have to change my profile from public to hiding from freaks like him) because of him writing “I hope and pray you are feeling and doing much better” the day after I announce I had a lumbar puncture.

I respond to him “I’ve asked you repeatedly to leave me alone.”

He responds “Ok, Done.”

I am a person who at times will have to get the last word in… “I should not have had to ask you repeatedly on every account/app/profile we were both on. The lack of respect you have shown me by ignoring what I asked is why I am so adamant that you leave me alone. A man who refuses to show respect to a woman does not truly care for her. A lesson you may want to consider.”

It shows he read it. No further response from him.

It made me think and I thought about other men I have been in contact with or played with that did not listen to me when I stated something… and it could be something as ‘relatively’ insignificant as “Don’t bite my clit, it doesn’t turn me on” only to bite clit and it hurt from that moment on for a few days and I never want to have sex with you…

Or don’t take my picture or record anything while we are having sex…

Or could we not have checklist sex? If you don’t know what checklist sex is… When I am talking with a guy pre-meet/play time and you write down every single thing you think you heard me say and you think this is what I want to do and in the order you think we have to do it and then you go off that list and do that ‘thing’ and for a few moments and then move onto the next item on that list you created and nothing is done for long enough for me to get any real pleasure from… that is check list sex and pretty much a guarantee that we won’t play again…

What can you do to avoid checklist sex?

Listen to me when I tell you I like to see what will happen if left to our own devices… go with the flow… try something new to one or both of us… anything but lick her nipple once before going to…

So where was I going with this…

Oh yeah, I went down a rabbit hole… and when I resurfaced I realized I began to look at guys I didn’t really enjoy in the last year or two as much as I thought I would for various reasons… too much work, too much drama, too much bad sex, too much telling me what to do, too much NOT listening to me, and well, then I realized that I have the opportunity to make a change… to drop the dead weight…

And boy does that feel good.

So many good things have happened in the midst of something rather not so good…



Now That We Know Sophia and Mike

Now that we know Sophia and Mike a little bit better we were ready to meet them, the four of us all together. We were warned Sophia was working through some things, but we wanted to get together. We had to get together. To be honest, we were unsure how it would go. Sophia stopped talking about him at all according to Mike. She unfollowed him on FB and shut off wall posts on Kasidie to keep this all in perspective. She toyed with unfriending him altogether, but since she had done that already in 2015, she didn’t want to be the one who did it again.

Sophia wanted us to know she is trying to not go from constantly thinking of him and then finding someone to replace him and focus too much attention on someone new and making them feel like a second string replacement. We both understood her point as we saw him doing just that on Kasidie. We knew as she told us that we had nothing to worry about. She is aware enough, emotionally intelligent enough to not over-compensate to the point where someone is hurt just to make herself feel better. We could see him doing this to others and to her. We felt for Sophia. He was being an ass.

We would like to believe it was because he was hurting too, but fuck, he caused this, brought this on her and our empathy was for her, not him and his girlfriend. It was really hard for us and could only imagine how it was for Sophia and for Mike. But all we saw was his rather cruel and indifferent behavior towards her. While we had previously ‘mostly liked’ him with reservation – and this was not due to Sophia but his general attitude towards people in general (seen in callous forum posts about fucking anything that breathes and servicing partners and this being his job – when he is done with his job he is out of there was a particularly heinous one), this brought him down a notch or several. We definitely saw the patheticness of his behavior towards others and know enough to realize that it is because he is immature and has a void he is trying to fill with sex and other people’s approval, not realizing how it is not working. It is actually making him appear far more desperate and well, here is that word again, pathetic.

Mark and Sophia took extra time to get to a place where they were comfortable getting close. Work for both of them was a good distraction and pacesetter. Mike and I had no issues there. We got to know each other very well. We were encouraged by Sophia to do whatever we needed and we did.

Sophia mentioned several times that Mike is often the forgotten one because of Sophia’s presence on Kasidie. I’ve seen many times his posts and reactions to the posts that indicates he can hold his own. Personal conversations demonstrate that as well. Sophia said once that Mike gets lazy. I asked him about that and he admitted it is true. He doesn’t want to make this a full time job or even part time… it’s sex, pure and simple. If I get into this it is because the woman has captivated me and makes me want to chat. He can count on one hand the women that has. BTW, I am one of those few. Yay!

We are well into October at this point and things are heating up. Mike, Sophia and I met in person and hit it off. Mike and I have become even closer. We chat most everyday, have gotten each other off on video chats, and I am wanting him. A lot.

By the time we arrive at their home I cannot wait to see him again. Sophia and I have a bit of fun in the shower and then Mike arrives. I have been dying to wrap my hands and mouth on his cock. It is simply beautiful. I’m on my knees in front of him in no time. He is fucking my mouth hard and I love it. I know we have other plans for tonight but I want him to cum in my mouth. I won’t let him pull out and he does cum. Hard. A lot.

We move over to the bed and lay down while Mike recovers. We start kissing. And proceed to make out for a while. We stop and talk a bit and then I wrap my legs around his waist… he slips on a condom and slides into my pussy.

Fuck he knows how to use his cock. I personally think his cock is beautiful. It is straight and long and thick and works every fucking time. He can tease and pound, he can hit all the right spots… and he is not focused on getting his rocks off, but rather making sure each fucking stroke feels good for me. I quickly learned his favorite positions and his rhythm. I begged him to fuck me rough and hard. He did. Oh he did so well.

Sophia joked not to say “don’t stop”… whatever you do, don’t say those two words… the guy will stop… not sure why… but he does. Mike did not stop. I was ready to pop him one if he did. He joked and said he learned his lesson to listen and hear the words.

That is one of the things about them. They have some good comedic timing. The stories they tell and the experiences they have are hilarious. In between our time having sex we all shared some great stories. We also shared some things we want to try. Some things that have been on our bucket lists and what we want to possibly try together.

As we talked about some of the things I wanted to do, like DP Sophia suggested we do it while we were there. No reason why we couldn’t do it while we were all there. There was a little prep work that needed to be done, but by the time we were leaving we would have that off our list.

Sophia gave me a heads up on what we needed to do to prep and once that was done we tried it on Saturday night. Sophia asked me if I wanted her to be in the room or just Mark, Mike and myself. I wasn’t sure how to answer. Sophia told me she was glad her first time was just her, the SM and Mike. She told me how it started and I wanted to try that they way they did it. I felt a bit weird copying her, but she didn’t mind.

We headed off to the bedroom and Sophia was in the other room. We heard nothing from her while we were off having some fun. I was a little worried once I had a moment to think of her. She had ended up taking a nap. I laughed really hard when I found out she was napping. Here I was worried she would be bothered we were taking so long having a threesome and trying DP and she was napping.

Mike led the way for the threesome. We didn’t just go straight into the shoving cocks in my ass and pussy. He made this a highly erotic memory for me. We did all the things I wanted in a threesome. Both of them sharing my pussy. Both of them kissing me. Both of them tasting how wet I got from all their attentions. Then Mike asked me who I wanted in my ass. I hadn’t thought of it at that point, I was not sure how to decide. Mike suggested that he go in from behind so that Mark can see my face while I cum. I straddled Mark and was rubbing my pussy on his cock while Mike paid a lot of attention to my ass. He didn’t just go straight in, he fingered me and stretched me while I was basically dry humping my husband. I wasn’t actually dry at this point and time, but fuck it made me so wet.

As I was primed for Mike to enter my ass, he pulled me up straight and turned me so he could kiss me. He was still fingering my ass and asked me if I was ready. I was. I so was. He then slid the tip of his cock to my bud and then entered me. It was slow and steady and it felt so good. He started thrusting with a steady rhythm until Mark was ready to lift me just a bit until he could slide his cock in me as well.

Both men stopped briefly until I was completely in and then Mike started the rhythm they both would follow. I came and came and came again and again. Sophia told me it was fucking incredible and I have to say it is more than I could imagine.

I was spent by the time the threesome was over. Mike was spent. Mark was spent and Sophia was still napping. We crawled into bed with Sophia and enjoyed a much needed nap.

When we all woke up and Sophia asked us how it went and listened to us with excitement for me at having this experience, pride of hearing how much I enjoyed her husband and gave me a hug with genuine happiness that I could share her husband, I knew that we had something rather incredible.

Wet Kisses, Amber

Getting To Know Sophia and Mike

This is my second post, first full post on Sophia’s blog. Wish me luck. 🙂

When Sophia first posted her travel plans we looked… we enjoy getting to know people who are traveling through the area. Often we find ourselves doing the ‘dreaded one and done’ because we seek those who travel and not necessarily those who live in the area. Let’s face it, after a while, the regular swingers in the area are not anything new and exciting because we see them at everything and with everyone. The conversations are all the same, the play habits are all the same, the come on lines are all the same and yawn, and then yawn some more.

We look at those who are traveling in our area and we reach out to them. We did this with Sophia even though she was traveling solo, we had seen enough of her posts to know we wanted to meet her even if we didn’t play with her. She is somewhat famous on the forums and we certainly noticed her a lot through the years. Mark sent the first email asking her if she wanted to meet up while she was on her trip. Obviously, Mark wrote something more than just that, but that was the main point of the email. Sophia responded by opening their BSP and we reciprocated. She reiterated a few things in our communications – she was traveling alone, she hall passes, she doesn’t have to have sex to meet with anyone, and while she is bisexual playing with women is not something she does all the time, she is rather picky about what women she plays with… nothing personal, but she doesn’t play with women to get things started or fulfill another woman’s fantasy of having someone do everything for them…

I think I came when I read that, she said it a lot nicer than I wrote it there. I however could have yelled ‘DITTO BABY’!

Sophia explained that she likes to let others know their expectations up front and part of that is that they generally do not do couple dates because of some ‘past trauma’ (lol) from some couples… they “will do house parties and hall passes… and rare couple dates… but they have to pass a rigorous vetting process.” Mark fell in love with that honesty she had. We rarely do couple dates anymore. For the same reasons.

We knew we had to meet with Sophia. She was just like we had seen her on the forums. Yes, we had a forum crush on her. We admit it. We love it. She is a hoot.

She had time before she would be meeting up with someone that would take up most of her time on her trip, but we could meet after she arrives on Saturday afternoon until she would meet up with them on Monday around noon.

Then it turned out that they were coming earlier and we could meet anytime between Saturday afternoon and Sunday about noon…

And then it turned out they changed their plans and she was going to have some 1-1 time with just him on Saturday… and well, she hoped we understood…

We did, but we weren’t happy about it. No one likes to find out that they didn’t make the cut. But she explained that this guy was the reason for the trip, the limitations on the airline flight schedule, and it made sense as this other couple was trying to match their trip schedule with hers.

And to find out later that we postponed meeting her only to have her 1-1 plans basically fucked up without her being told it was going to happen. Let us just say we were holding a bit of a grudge. And were a bit angry on Sophia’s behalf. It wasn’t really much consolation that we were not the only people she had to cancel plans with during the trip.

Then to learn that a lot of what she did was wait on them to do some stupid shit that she could have kept her rental car (was told she wouldn’t need it) and kept some of the plan she had made, yeah, we were pissed on her behalf. According to what Mike and Sophia shared with us before and when we met, she was pretty much treated like shit. We happen to know the couple she was meeting and they are not on our list of people we like anymore. That was shitty behavior no matter how you try to justify it. Apparently, I am still upset about how they treated her. She has forgiven them, but I am not ready yet.

When we made plans to meet, Sophia let us know that she was still recovering from this shitastic episode of shitty behavior, I will have to admit right now how much I want to explode on both of them (the other couple) for how they treated Sophia. Mark and I both agreed that we would not say anything to them on her behalf when we run into them. It is hard.

It is even harder after seeing how Mike and Sophia are as a couple, as individuals, as swingers, and how they did not deserve to be treated like this. Mike is not as ‘wide-open’ as a person or swinger as Sophia is. She is one-of-a-kind. Mike and Sophia work and largely because they do not get caught up in jealousy. Mike is not always happy about the ‘infatuations’ men have on Sophia, but she sure does enjoy them. We noticed that Sophia genuinely enjoys Mike making friends, having lovers, and fucking himself blind (I am not doing well staying on topic, but Mike fucked me so hard one time that he swore he fucked himself blind. He wasn’t blind, we just caused the lamp plug to come out of the socket, plunging us into darkness.)

When I was communicating with Mike, it was not the easiest thing to do. He doesn’t flirt naturally. If you are surprised by that because of Sophia, then you are not alone. Sophia flirts with everyone and naturally. It is so much a part of what she does, who she is, and how she communicates, it is amazing how quickly she makes people feel comfortable. Seeing the conversations she and Mark have and comparing them to Mike and mine, I learned quickly not to do that anymore. I had to learn how Mike communicates and what makes him want to communicate. Sophia didn’t give many hints to me to help me out. She told me that when I learned what worked on Mike on my own it would make it so much better. She was right. When I tried to flirt with him like how Sophia did with Mark, it fell flat. However, when I sent him a picture of a beer that I wanted him to try, our conversations went in a sexy direction.

Mark and Sophia had a blast communicating. She brought out a lot of ‘secrets’ of his without really trying. She encouraged him to share with me what he realized or what he shared with her. We did that and fuck, it made sex so much better.

I tried to copy some of what they talked about with Mike to see if it worked with him. It did. Holy fuck, she is like a swinger whisperer. I would ask a question in a what that made him tell me a story. We would then use that conversation for days learning more about each other. Want to know her secret? Ask her. You will suddenly realize why so many guys like her so much. It is so fucking simple. But so effective.

I found out that Mike (and I have permission to share this) is a people pleaser and is rather submissive. You may have read some of that in other posts Sophia has written about in the past. He is not like a submissive man in the common manner, he will take the dominant role on as needed and will fuck me blind, but I am getting ahead of myself.

I asked him a lot of questions about what he liked and didn’t like. I was surprised when he said few women actually ask him that questions. Most he has been with have been along the lines of dead fish and pillow princess… apparently, when he gets those women Sophia gets the man who can’t get enough of her or fall hard for her. I could tell him I know that feeling, Mark and her run into that a lot too. Mike said that when Sophia gets a guy who is done in three minutes or can’t get it up, he gets a wife who can’t get enough of him. He feels like he is being used as a gigolo. It is why they house part and hall pass.

That is where we are in our (Mark and I’s) swinging adventure. It is less adventure and more a pit of snakes.

Mike asked me a few questions too, like, do you enjoy oral? Do you enjoy getting fucked? I laughed when he asked me that and I texted Sophia and asked if I could talk to Mike on the phone, she said, go ahead. I called Mike, he was next to Sophia so we had an interesting conversation as to why Mike asked those questions. OMFG!

We laughed and cried from laughing so hard with that conversation. Mark was ‘jealous’ when he got home. So jealous he called Mike and asked why he wasn’t able to call him on the phone. Heaven help us, we were out of control. The four of us talked on zoom for almost two hours. We regularly talked on the phone. Whenever the spirit moved us. Usually when one of us was in the car.

Mark and Sophia didn’t talk as much on the phone as Mike and I, Mike, Sophia and I, and Sophia and I did. The shit ‘they’ put her there was taking a toll on her. I swear it is still very hard for me to not publicly lash out at ‘him’. And ‘her’. And Sophia needed to stop making excuses for them. I saw the texts and emails and wall posts. That is messed up shit.

When Mark asked her straight out why she won’t communicate with him as she had in the near past and why he doesn’t get phone calls, I swear both of our hearts broke. Sophia was gaslighted and she knew she was being gaslighted when it happened, but it still hurt her. It caused her to second guess everything she did, was, and thought. He fucked with her big time.

Mark called her up immediately and had a come to Jesus meeting with her. She had been working on it with others in her tribe and she was trying to get ‘better’, past it, unbroken, but it was so hard. Mark’s heart was broken that night listening to her. He had the phone on speaker as he couldn’t stop pacing back and forth and yelling profanity at this ‘couple’. I kept telling him to stop yelling that it wasn’t helping Sophia. But oddly enough, it did help some in a way we didn’t know it would.

Mark being so pissed at this couple on her behalf told her that she mattered. She knew she mattered to Mike. That wasn’t nothing new, but to know that we were this upset on her behalf.

Like I said, we know this couple. We know how they behave. We also saw the messages sent to her. That was low and shitty what was done to her and to think he said he loved her. Other than Mike, her badass tribe she talked about in a previous post and us, no one knows or has seen the shit he wrote to her or the treatment of her. Let me tell you something, Sophia is an amazing woman. She is strong and loving. She is funny and full of happiness. And he would tell her why he loved her and then treat her like she was nothing without a second thought. I have asked her many times why she actually loved him. Not the nicest thing to say to a new friend, but fuck, he does not deserve any of her love.

That night bonded us like nothing else could. I can’t tell you what the bond is like, if I said it is like family, that is a bit creepy. I love this girl like no other swinger partner I have ever met. I love Mike like no other swinger partner I have ever met. The same for Mark. But we are not in love with them or their family. Thank goodness. Fucking Mike is something that cannot be missed ladies.

We met – Mike, Sophia and I on a trip and I fell in love with this couple – again, not IN LOVE but in love with who they are in person. Who they are as a couple. If you are looking for a couple who only talks sweetly and without any passion (they have been together for 30 years – they get annoyed with each other and own it… that is what I mean about passion) this is not the couple. Sophia will tell Mike what she thinks and he does to her as well. They do not pretend to be a perfect couple, and can we get a Hallelujah?

They are as real as a couple can be and yet, you can tell they love each other. When Sophia tells stories of her adventures and talks about some of the guys that annoyed Mike, that is fucking hilarious. Mike told a few stories of times he ‘fucked’ up. One time the guy Sophia was with was done in less than 5 minutes. She was bored, the bed wasn’t big enough for the four of them to be laying there if two were done. Mike was oblivious to Sophia being done because he was being a great partner and fucking her senseless. After nearly an hour she tells Mike to finish up. He looks up and asks ‘are you done?’ Them telling me this story was funny but wait, she urges Mike to finish the story, he does. Mike says, this couple lives by a Walmart and Sophia says, let’s stop at Walmart I have to pick something up. Mike tells me that he asked if Sophia had a good time and she let him have it. Right in Walmart about how clueless of a swinger he is. Something about looking up once in awhile to see… I don’t know if I am actually being fucked! Mike explained that this was in their first year and still trying to figure out how shitty some adventures are. They have changed how they do things because of Mike being too focused – Sophia interrupts and says not too focused, oblivious to anything else. She rolled her eyes at him. He admits to paying attention to his partner, but then corrects himself and says, this is why separate rooms are are favorite. While Sophia won’t let the other couple know she is not happy, nor Mike, he has been caught off guard by her immediate response when asked “did you have fun” when they get in the car. He learned so much about paying attention as a swinger.

They were laughing so hard telling these stories. The things you learn while swinging.

This blog post went a direction I was not planning. I will continue with my promise to tell you how good Mike fucks.

Mike and I have learned a lot about each other as friends and lovers. One of the best things he does, and so few men do this as swingers, and Mike does it so well. Mike fucks me like he actually likes me for me and responds to me and what I need. It is not a ‘servicing plan’. I am not being serviced. I am the center of his attention while I am with him.

Yes, him and Sophia do share a kiss or two while he is fucking me. Literally, depending on the position she is in and I am in, he will slide his cock in me, give Sophia a kiss and not miss a beat and fuck me harder. They got that timing shit down pat. I think it is because he learned to PAY ATTENTION to his surroundings. Always something to learn in swinging.

Yeah, they have a good thing going and never have we had as much fun being fucked senseless.

I will share more in my next blog post.

Wet Kisses, Amber

Last Weekend, Why It Worked

Last weekend we had some friends spend time with us, quite a bit of time getting to know each other and having a lot of fun. We laughed and talked and made out and had sex and did it over and over again. During some of our talks, we learned what it was we wanted from our weekend and our friendship. Amber and I had talked about the amount of time we had to invest in a real friendship being a few states away. What was it going to take to really get to know each other and not have it turn into a lot of work was little lasting reward.

We were able to figure out what we wanted as friends and lovers and partners of lovers. There’s a lot of different roles all thrown together and a lot of navigating if we wanted it to work out. We found that having honest conversations about our expectations and frustrations and what we’re looking for or wanting to avoid really helped us navigate the fun we had over the weekend.

I joked with Amber a lot about having a crush on her and she joked just as much about having a crush on me. What we realized was we enjoyed each other in a very organic and platonic manner. I think that had to come first and it had to be something that both invested in along the way. In the past it always seemed like it was a competition between me and the other wife or girlfriend and initiated by the other wife. I have never felt I need to compete with any other wife or girl friend. To me there is never a reason to compete with the other woman. And I never did.

When Amber and I talked before we met we talked a lot about this need for women to compete with other women. And it always struck me odd that a woman who was already in a relationship with a boyfriend or husband felt the need to compete with the other woman in a swinger situation. Amber and I have both struggled with this issue with women. And it is challenging to know how to navigate or even if it is worth navigating. Personally I choose not to navigate this as a rule. I have changed my swinging habits to be more hall passing and less couple dating.

This was something that I wanted to really look into and pay attention to while in the midst of this weekend of fun to see how this would play out if I set the intention to develop a deeper level friendship with Amber from the get-go. Now this is a lot of work I think on top of trying to get to know the guy I actually want to have sex with and I was not alone in this thought. Amber was also wanting to build a deeper friendship with me to see if this would actually work out in the long-term and not just a once and done even if we hang out with no further sex between the two newly formed couples but rather a rare hall pass.

Most swingers talk about not wanting drama and it is there… and it rears it’s ugly head a lot… and it is often centered around women. Amber asked if she could guest blog on this topic… this is the first of several blog posts from her.

“We have been swinging since 2011 off and on. I have been the instigator more than Mark and I have put the breaks on it quite a few times. Each time I said I was done it was after I dealt with wife drama. I am not willing to put up with this behavior and I don’t. Mark has gone along with my lead because he is aware enough to see what the others are doing. To be honest, it is not always the women pulling this bad behavior. It is both. I have had some of the worst lovers, literally not very good at the actual sex act and that makes for some resistance when having to put up with behavior less than ideal from their spouses.

I have a lot in common with my male partners as they try to get to know me even if the purpose is to get laid. When Sophia and I started communicating she made as much of an effort to communicate with me as I did with her. I did notice that a few times when I didn’t put forth effort in talking with her she backed off some. I reached back out and we resumed our communications. When I backed off, so did Sophia. The 3rd or 4th time that happened I asked her about it… after following her blog and all her forum posts… I got an answer that didn’t surprise me… “most women in swingerville only care about themselves and what they want everyone to do to prove they are worthy to bow down in front of… I have no desire to play that game and don’t… nor do I expect it.”

That was all it took, I found a soul mate in another woman in swinging. She gets it I told Mark. She really gets it. That started a lot of conversation between us… and it allowed me to be a good friend for her during some of the things she has recently blogged about… we realized how our swinging has changed to navigate our bad experiences.

Mark and I really hit it off with Mike and Sophia and we feel it is largely due to the reality of what ENM means to us and the fact we do not approach it in a manic or desperate manner. Mike and Mark love fucking other women, we love fucking other men, but the need to be the top swinger is not there… it’s not about the conquest… it’s truly about enjoying and respecting our partners while getting dirty with them.

I have enjoyed taking the time to get to know Sophia and was surprised how few women do… and how many wives do not like her because she won’t do more than what the other wife/girlfriend is willing to do for her. I realized I behave similarly and as a result I don’t have many female swinger friends. But those I do have are like Sophia, real friends as they have the capacity to be friends.

And that is why our friendship worked… all four of us have the capacity to treat each other with genuine curiosity of who they are and not solely a sex organ to fuck… a conquered profile name… a trophy… or an ego to stroke… or an ass to kiss.

I’m going to share on the next blog what it was like to be with Mike and watching Mark fanboy Sophia. Mike happens to have a beautiful cock and can fuck me in a new favorite way… if ever I could brag on a couple… how they interact with each other… how fun they are… how sex with them is a grand adventure, this would be the couple to do it on, we are hooked.

Muah Sophia and Amber