Tag Archives: fun sex

Swinging Is An Activity and a State of Mind….

Usually when I write a blog post I have the title before the content of the post. Today that is not the case. I have no idea what to title this post. Maybe by the end of the post I will know just what title will be perfect.

About 2 1/2 years ago we started this adventure. When we started we had all sorts of rules… We decided to swing and a week later we swung. So we had come up with all kinds of rules in those 7 days and we had thrown them all out the window by the time the first swap was completed.

We have one rule… we both have to agree… said this before and it is still true… we don’t always agree… but it allows us to consider the options and discuss what we want and don’t want…

I am a person who love to meet folks, converse with folks, and if it works out develop friendships with people. That is very difficult to do when there are so many rules the other people have that keeps simple tasks of getting to know a person too difficult to accomplish.

I am okay with not having a deep meaningful friendship with people in order to have sex with them… it is not a requirement for me… and sometimes it is more work than it is worth… especially if we are honest and the sex really isn’t that great.

Every once in a while you find people (me it is usually guys) that you can have awesome conversations with… about sex and other topics not sex…

And when you are real and authentic in those conversations… and when more is understood by what is not said than what is said… and when the other person knows that there is a difference in your tone of voice, body language or whatever ‘tells’ you have when you are keeping it close to the vest… it goes both ways. They can ‘read’ me and I can ‘read’ them… it is a great ‘type’ of conversation to have.

I was wondering what those types of conversations and relationships mean in the whole swinging realm and I am a bit at loss…

I don’t have the answers to this… I want the answers to this… but at the same time I am okay with not having an answer to this… the fun of exploring it means more to me than having a quick answer that may or may not be wholly authentic. I say it may not be wholly authentic in its quick answer because at times you want to hold back some of the answer in order to protect one’s self especially if you are not sure of the answer and/or reaction of the other person.

As I have talked about before… any mention of ’emotion’ in any relationship swinger style can cause panic attacks, stupidity, fear, jealousy, insecurity, and a whole host of other emotions to come bubbling out… emotions and sex scares people…

I can understand that… but what I can’t grasp is passion, chemistry, desire, lust, sexual want, and a whole host of other sexually necessary emotions also come into play that must be there for swinger sex to be more than jacking off with another person.

I say jacking off with another person as an illustration of how lacking sex without any emotion is… If I rub one out it really isn’t fulfilling as a full sex act… Yes, I came… but so what… my clit got rubbed until my pussy quivered. Or if I used a toy or two, other reactions may occur and it is pleasurable… but it isn’t the same thing as having a living breathing person there to engage my mind and body… and if things are going perfectly… my soul…

And I am not talking about falling in love… but that person has control over every part of my person…. mind, body, soul…

Isn’t that what we are looking for when we have sex?

If I want just to be ‘gotten off’ I can do that myself. I chose to engage with other people because I want the benefit of another person and all that brings to me and my body… and of course what I can bring to them…

A guy with his cock in his hand can bring release… but when you talk to a guy who has only had his hand for a while… what does he want? He wants a woman who wants him. He wants a woman who he can kiss, touch, lick, taste, and slide his cock into and bring pleasure to both parties. He wants a woman who is responsive to his touches and reciprocates his passion onto his body…

Few guys will say that he prefers his hand over a real living, breathing woman.

Few women say that their vibrator is good enough to bring all the components of a good licking and fucking and kissing and touching encounter with a man.

I understand the need to test the waters and see what is good for you to do with others. I understand having somethings reserved for just the spouses. I don’t think that if a relationship is true and solid that those things will shatter a marriage. Holding a sex act back because you place more emphasis on the act than on the person you hold most dear may be a bit wrong.

I may cause a bit of an uproar over that statement but hear me out.

Kissing is not more intimate than licking a pussy or even an anal opening… or sucking a cock.

When we were little and kissing a boy or girl on the playground or in the coat room at school… was that the most intimate thing we were going to be doing? No, it is the starting point of building chemistry and attraction with another person.

No little kid, or middle school kid, or even high school kid started off by skipping kissing and going straight to oral.

There are steps that happen that builds chemistry.

The initial meet – nowadays that can be online… but you meet and then you start to flirt – nowadays that is chatting online, texting, sexting, pic swapping etc…. then you start by small touches… holding hands maybe… a little nibble when whispering in the person ear… then a small kiss… that builds to a bigger and more passionate kiss…. then you may move the bodies closer together and touch, caress, and while you are kissing….

When you started out with your partner – whether spouse or significant other… you moved through those same steps… however as you went through those steps you built a deeper feeling of emotional connection and commitment….  called LOVE….

All those individuals you dated and did not marry… you did the same things… you built the chemistry up with different sexual components… you start by the littlest touches and then moved up to kissing and then you felt the great need for being sexually connected with each other… and you had sex… and because of the connection and chemistry – the sex was needed…. with that person…

I am often confused by those who think that by having swinger sex that you can take out the basic elements of sex (from the first flirts to kissing to the touching of clothed, semi naked, or naked bodies to the actual intercourse) and still have great sex.

Swinging is an activity and a state of mind. If you are interested in swinging you often want to have sex with other people… and most people want to be considered very good at sex… I have to ask how does one connect those two components when you alter what you can do when you have sex to such a degree that you have to have emotion free sex (free of even passion and desire) and limit what you can do with a partner?

I am not talking about sex with or without a condom. Or other unsafe or out of bounds of safety sex.

I am talking about people unable to kiss while having sex because their partner finds it too intimate. Sex is an intimate activity. Those statements contradict each other.

Or when you are unable to talk to your partner because to say “I love how you are fucking me” is too intimate… or when you are told he can’t talk and say how he likes my breasts or the taste of my pussy… because it causes the other person to become upset… those things make no sense to me…

I want to scream why are you swinging if you can’t actually swing – actually have sex with a person in a manner in which you normally have sex??????

To me that isn’t sex if you have to limit how you act while having sex.

I could not stand to be in the same room having sex with someone and my husband having sex with another person and know that I have put so many rules and restrictions on how he can have sex…

So much of sex with me is spontaneous… I have not idea what will be happening and I hate scripted sex….

I hate having a guy whisper so quietly in my ear some sweet words that I can’t hear because to whisper at a normal whisper level or even a lower volume normal speaking is not allowed.

I hate having a guy try to get more than what their spouse will allow because this is what they normally do but can’t do because of the limits their spouse has placed on them…

And it goes both ways… had a few where the guy placed more limits on what can be done…

And I really hate it when they look surprised as hell when I say PASS….

I swing because I like to have sex with new people. I like variety… I like the excitement of having lovers who ravish me… compliment me… are allowed to have me ravish them and compliment them without fear of spousal anger…

I love building relationships with men that I hall pass with… and those I play with as a couple repeatedly… the chemistry builds… the conversations are fun… the sex is good… the comfort level is there…

I get so tired of the games swingers play that limit the fun we can have with sex… I can’t see how that makes sense to anyone. Why seek people to have sex with and not really have sex with them the way you want to have sex with them…

I would love to encourage everyone out there who has been swinging or thinking about swinging to look honestly at how they pursue swinging as an activity and as a state of mind… how narrow is your swinging adventure? Is it enjoyable to you? Is it what you always thought it would be? Is there something that is keeping you from having an awesome sexually social adventure?

I ask you now to look at it and talk about it and see if you can change it up to make it more enjoyable for each of you… if that means you drop out of the lifestyle… do it… sometimes all the rules and restrictions limit your fun but it also limits the fun of those you play with… and you know what… that makes a statement with that other couple that lasts a long time… and they won’t be the only one… and when you look and see that you are more ‘once and done’ rather than a couple that people want to be with repeatedly… that may be why…

And if you read all the way down to here… you will have read where the title came from… sometimes the title comes out of the post perfectly….

Hope you are enjoying your sexually social adventure…

Sophia

On The Side of The Road….

One night I was headed out to run errands. I was wearing  a little black dress that made me look pretty dang good. My hair looked like I just got fucked but sadly it had been a while….

In fact I couldn’t remember the last time I had sex, not even bad sex. So as I pondered this problem I got horny and frustrated. So very frustrated and I was not paying attention while driving. I hit an suv in the tail end.

Shit, this is not how I wanted to spend my evening. I turned my car off and bent towards the glove box to get my insurance card. As I was returning to my seat I look out my window and see a man’s groin in my view. He bends down as I look up and I catch my breath. This man is hot.

I start to freak out because of how hot he is when I remember I am looking pretty good today. Always gotta find humor in every situation. I start to open my door, he backs up and helps me out of my car.

I take a deep breath to calm myself and when I do I smell him and he is all man in its very masculine essence. My heart starts racing, my pussy comes alive. I know that if he asks me to fuck him I would right then and there. He has that much control over me instantly.

He looks into my eyes and says not one word, just drinks me in. My nipples pebble up just as his eyes reach them. I see him smile in response. I am holding my insurance card in my hand and he reaches for it… His arm brushes against my breast and I take a deep breath and whisper please.

He responds, are you sure?

I barely get out  yes as my brain is flooded with sex hormones. He places his hands on each side of my face and slowly places his lips on mine.

The kiss was sweet, passionate, hungry, and something else, I just can’t put a word to it. I wrap my arms around his neck and move closer to him. I feel him move his hands to my ass pulling me in further. The kiss is insane… I open my mouth as his tongue licks my lips before tangling with mine.

I know we need to stop. We are on the side of the road. I whisper to  him I need more but not here. As luck would have it, he was nearly home when I hit him. I follow him to his house. All thoughts of safety disappear as I need this man and I need him now.

I park in his drive which goes to the back of the house… I get out of my car and he is there again helping me out. He picks me up and places me on the hood of hte car and begins his kisses again. My legs are spread and he is standing between them. I reach for his belt and begin undoing his pants. His fingers find contact with my soaked panties and he slides his fingers in….

I have his cock free and in my hand, stroking his length and feeling the precum. I am moments away from cumming and he brings me crashing over the edge. I let out a scream of pure ecstasy. He chuckles while he licks my juices off his fingers. I ask him to help me down off the hood. My legs are shaking I am so weak after that orgasm. He does and I ask him to sit on the hood and slide his jeans down his legs. I look him in his eyes as I take his cock into my hand and mouth.

I taste him and breathe in his scent. If I never see him again I know I will remember his taste and his scent. My other hand has his balls rolling gently as I take his whole cock in my mouth. He pulls my top down and takes one breast in each hand, holding them as if they were a priceless gift…. I moan on his cock as he gently tugs on my nipples.

It is if we had had sex before but this is our first meeting. I can feel another orgasm building in me and I begin to move my hand and mouth faster on his cock. I feel his balls tightening… I hear his breath catch and his hips pumping into my mouth.

My pussy is dripping and I start to cum… He yells out for me not to stop… he is so close to exploding. Then I feel it, the hot goodness filling my mouth… the salty essence I so crave. He fills me and I greedily swallow every last drop of him knowing it is not enough. I want more. I need more.

I release his cock from my mouth and he pulls me up onto him laying us both on the hood, half naked.

He says he’s not done with me, may never be done with me… I reach down and feel his cock still very hard… I tell him, let round two begin.

I wrote that on a group chat, text style… one letter… one finger at a time… wanted to share it with you all too….

At least this time the quick encounter isn’t in a bathroom… LOL

Sophia