Tag Archives: house parties

About Last Night…

Last night we had our first house party of 2017. We started the year off with a bang. The BEST HOUSE PARTY we have had or attended ever…. it was that good.

I wrote a lot lately about communication, how swinging is harder when you are filled with social awkwardness that keeps you from having fun…

I had a number of folks tell me I was too negative in my recent posts (I didn’t see that I was too negative, I saw that I was explaining how social awkwardness on one person’s part makes the entire night awkward for others and only you can do better in your swinging adventure if you so choose… it is called sexually social adventures for a reason… sex and social are both important in the adventure… a definite needed mix of both to make swinging successful… that is depending on your version of swinging… mine is a definite mix of sex and social… )

My husband and I have had our share of incredible sexually social adventures. We have also had our share of shit adventures… and if we looked at them honestly, we can pinpoint what made them successful or not so much… and we found some common themes.

I wrote that series as we were getting ready for the house party. I wanted to let swingers have the opportunity to improve their swinging adventures as I want better swinging adventures with others… as I mentioned to several people over the course of that series, is there really anything wrong with a swinger asking other swingers to get their shit together if they want to swing… or up their swinging game?

So, with the knowledge written in the blog posts in the swinging and social awkwardness series I wondered what this group of folks would be like when we got together. We have had in the past a number of folks attend the party that had ideas of what the party would be like and how it should go… and were disappointed because they didn’t let the party happen naturally….

Last night…

Well, last night… we had 7 couples come. At one time we had 9 couples coming, 3 couldn’t come, 1 was added yesterday, 1 that couldn’t come could came, the one added yesterday couldn’t come, and the other two wanted to come back  to another party because of issues that couldn’t be avoided…

I announced our party with a pretty straightforward explanation of what we are like, what our parties are like, and well, if you read at least one post of mine, you can definitely figure out what the invite is like… pretty open in what you can find out about the party.

I took care in deciding who to approve for the party and I looked at the interests of all the guests and well, tried to get a few that were liking similar (not necessarily sex) things… and of course similar sexual preferences… I also brought in others that like different things to compliment the group and well, it was a great deal of fun watching that part of the night unfold… some knew each other from other parties but didn’t realize it until after they arrived… some got to know each other while they were waiting for the party to happen… and some met each other for the first time that night…

Watching the communication and engagement happen… was a WORDS lover like me’s dream come true…

There was communication – conversations that were fun… and there was flirting… and an award for getting to see some pussy in the most unique manner goes to a brand new friend of mine… did you know… the space between the belly button and a certain point on all humans no matter how tall or short you are is the same? It is amazing, it worked… and I am going to say it wasn’t all his British accent… but it did play a great part in it…

I wrote on the blog in my last post that I was hoping that eventually we would have a group of folks that would get along so well that an orgy happened… I shared that with some of the guests last night… and they felt the same… they thought it would be cool to have that happen too… I was telling that to a guy at the party who was standing at the bottom of the steps and I was standing at the top of the steps (not a very long staircase)… and then I sat down… now, you may not know that I was wearing a black tank dress – no panties and no bra… so when I sat down… even if I kept my legs together, you could see my pussy… he was awesome, kept his eyes focused on me (No social awkwardness there…) then another guy came behind me planning on going down the stairs… the other guy asked me if I like being in a man sandwich… of course I do… and then he started exploring with his finger my pussy I was showing off… and the other guy was caressing my breast… well until I had him undo his pants…

I came and then some folks needed to pass on the stairs and then well, the guy who I had in my mouth and I went to the loveseat in the living room… well, it was a great deal of oral fun… engagement with the mouth in another manner and yes, words did come out… but most of them were ‘fuck that feels so damn good’.

I told him about my desire of having a group of folks who get naked on a regular basis and an orgy happens… Then we head down where a couple women are making out… we join the group… some kissing happens and touching and I mention that we can move the coffee table and I can bring down an air mattress that will fit by the sectional… Well, everyone jumped on the idea and made it happen…

What was really cool about the party, is that an amazing round of socializing happened where everyone got along well… found mutual interests, flirted, and I tell you what… all those things that I mentioned people should do in my social awkwardness series… happened… It was so fun to see… and then when the play started happening… it was great when people found a great deal of common ground… or parts of the sectional or air mattress or chair or in a standing position… we had a male strip show… well, I did… he stripped just because I asked… we had girl play, we had threesomes, more somes… and yes, my dream for an orgy happened…

I think a few well placed suggestions with the right people were all that were needed…

This group hit it off very well because this group wanted the same things… they were a group of swingers who enjoy swinging as in meeting people and having sex… there were not assholes, drunks, bitches, or divas…. not everyone got naked… she did do a lot with her clothes on… but everyone had fun… everyone was included… and the orgy portion of it… OMG, I loved it…

It wasn’t my first one… but I was the first one at one of our house parties… there was such a great deal of care, understanding, and consideration of others… not one bit of drama, not one bit of angst…

What this told me was my series of social awkwardness is very much needed… because many other swingers were sick of the same things… I had people tell me that my invitation was perfect because they knew what to expect and they wanted what our parties offered. They appreciated the fact that I let those who may not be comfortable with our type of party know up front… and those who attended did so because they wanted to attend a party with other swingers who enjoy having sex… who enjoy being social before and after sex…

This party showed me that yes indeed, some swingers like to get together and have sex and make it happen. They like to make sure that the people they want to connect with socially and sexually knew they wanted to connect… there was talk of others meeting together and contacting outside the party… and that was so great to see as a hostess of the party… people enjoyed themselves and the other guests.

I had so much fun last night… my pussy is needing to take a bit of a break this morning… it needs time to get ready for another round… is it too soon to ask them to come back tonight?

But even more, my heart is full of happiness. My swinger soul has been refreshed. My anticipation for more swinger fun with swingers who want to swing has been renewed. My belief that asking others to up their game is a correct one… because whether or not you want to fuck others on your swinging adventure… you want to walk away feeling these feelings with all sexually social adventures you have…

Because, believe it or not… this is what swinging is supposed to be… people who want to be there, want to be with others… and let them know they enjoy both the social and sexual parts of the adventure, no matter how much you do sexually.

I do have a few pictures of the party I would like to share…

Yes, I know… you were probably hoping for some naked flesh… or action shots… but let’s just say… no one had a free hand… and as I like to say… if you have the inclination or time to take a picture while we are having sex… I am doing something wrong…

Anyways, the antipasto platter and the pastries were a hit…

Muah Sophia

House Party Decisions

On Kasidie, there are a few people who are adamant that house parties should be done in one particular manner and anyone who does their house party differently is wrong… another site we are on… a few who have come to our party have also expressed to me how I am doing my parties all wrong… and here is the thing… if I followed their advice on how to do my party, they wound’t have been invited.

I am a busy girl. I have a lot of things going on and I really don’t have time to have phone calls with both parts of the couple coming or to do skype with them to verify that they are who they say they are… and let’s be honest… I have been around a lot of folks outside the lifestyle that appear awesome in certain situations… but when they are put to the test… and swinging is an ultimate test (alcohol, sex, relationships… etc.) and sometimes people do not pass the test…

So if I were to do phone and/or skype verification… I would have no time to do anything else… which left me to decide how I am going to do what I am going to do for my parties…

We have had guests that we were ‘worried’ about and they turned out to be great fun… we have had guests who appeared to be great fun and we should have worried about them. However, none of them did anything that would cause us to step in and throw them out of the party… just not want them to come back again.

Why I do my parties the way that I do them… I have touched on this a bit before… but this will go a bit deeper…

I like the house parties first and foremost because – I love hosting things…

I love house parties and I love swinging…

I love meeting people. I love meeting people without a bunch of people watching… Please consider this scenario… we are meeting a couple at a restaurant where very ‘religious’ people are (some from churches we attended) or families with small children or teenage children… not sure which one would freak me out more if they asked their mom or dad what we meant when we talked in swinger code… and you get my drift. You can’t really be that flirty and talking with heated suggestions if a toddler keeps turning around and watches you. So it is not the group of swingers watching that bothers… it is the vanilla folks we may know… or even if we don’t know… if they hear and complain… YIKES

I love house parties because of the sex that can happen…

Another issue some other hosts have with my parties… I am honest that playing happens… and since we are all swingers here… why don’t I just be even more honest and say… fucking and sucking happens… no need to use code words.

You see, there are some folks that believe that to admit as a swinger that you like to fuck and suck other swingers you are somehow less ‘civilized’ as a swinger. You fail to remember that friendships are so very important in life.

And yet, while we have been planning this party, many folks we lost touch with over the years in our adventure… some have moved, some are very busy, some are whatever… have contacted us and wanted to renew acquaintances… and some of these people we… fucked.

One such couple is a very memorable adventure… I was fisted the first time by him… it was a hot mess of a night, a very good hot mess…

House parties really are, in my opinion, if the host/hostess does it right… an opportunity to test the waters for who one will be friends with as well as who one will enjoy fucking… and does enjoy fucking.

If the situation is one where the host/hostess makes everyone feel welcome, no matter if they are just there to be social or they are there to flirt only, or they are there to fuck and get fucking some more… then your guests will be happy… and a happy guest is one that will come back and will share with others how much fun they have at your parties.

There are a few folks in our local area that believes our house parties are all out orgies. That has not happened at our parties… I wouldn’t mind it if it did… I actually think if we gathered the right group of people… and all of us were wanting to try it out… it would be a great deal of fun… oh my, that thought turns me on very much…

And I have to ask, why would an orgy, where everyone is wanting to have an orgy… be a bad thing?

I am not sure why people pass judgement on what others want to do when naked… but a good number of those folks who have spread that rumor or impression around on a kik group we were a part of… well, sadly… their personality and view on sexuality, severely limits my desire to engage in them sexually let alone think about having an orgy while they were present. Hubby agrees… there is something to be said about a person’s personality overshadowing their ‘desirability’… even if they think we will fuck anything because we have house parties they believe are orgies… I am happy to say… we have turned down a great number of folks when asked to ‘date’ them or when on a date and found them just not turning us on…

And that is, what I guess is, the point of this post… when one decides to host a house party, many things are taken into consideration… and no matter how much experience someone has or thinks they have… their way of hosting a house party or deciding on the guest list is only going to work for them… as my way of doing it, is only going to work for me.

Now that we are hosting parties again, I am going to go back to telling those who want to go on a ‘date’ with us that we won’t be doing that anymore… Hating first dates… if you want to meet us for the first time, you will need to head to one of our house parties. It is less awkward and if we don’t hit it off, I don’t have to spend a great deal of time or money to find that out… I can and I know this is what many find horrible when I say it… but I would rather find out in 5 minutes or less we won’t work and move on to someone else I may have more connection too and a house party gives me that opportunity. I know this is true for others… well, at least those who lead and make connections during house parties as opposed to those who sit and wait for others to come to them…

Which is something I must make clear… if you sit around waiting for someone to come to you at a house party… you are not likely to have as much fun as if you get up off your butt and socialize… the first impression is that you are not interested in making connections… and if you are not interested in making connections… why bother trying…

That is what I was told before we went to our first swinger house party… I took that to heart and made a move… to get up off the sofa and mingle.

I noticed a few people who have contacted us several times to meet up with us on a ‘date’ and did not sign up for our house party, but did instead sign up for a hotel takeover. I am not sure how I feel about this… other than it makes me want to, like I said, go back to the no first dates thing… I know they know about the party, they viewed our profile many times in the last couple weeks the announcement has been up… and they went to the group page where the event is listed… I share this, because I have to wonder how sincere their intentions were in wanting to meet us… one of the couples… we were very much on the fence about… did we want to meet them? Do we not want to meet them… I think this has made it a bit easier to state, ‘not really wanting to meet them’…

As I write this, I am thinking what about our party turns them to go to another event? Is it because there will be fucking and sucking at our parties… I am very open about it… and if that is what turns them off… are we not better off?

I ask that not because I believe everyone who attends a party much fuck and suck. I would never expect all my guests get naked and fuck everyone in attendance… but I ask that because, well, do they have something against swingers having sex?

If so, I just don’t think they will be a match with me. Sorry to say… I am an unapologetic swinger who likes to fuck strange. And no where better than in my home during a house party.

I leave you with this thought… if a good number of swingers want FWB (friends with benefits)… isn’t it important to know if you can be friends with them and if the benefits are any good?

Muah Sophia

Planning a House Party

I wrote about this previously and wanted to update some of the things we have learned over the years we have been hosting parties.

First of all, I love to host parties. Not just swinger parties… but any kind of party. I love to invite those I know and those I do not know…

For swinger parties, many people do not think this is a great idea.

For the record, I understand the risks that are taken when you invite people you know and people you don’t know.

But here is what I found…

We have more trouble with the people we know than the people we don’t know when they come to our house.

This is not to say that we have trouble with everyone we know… but when I look back on the guests we know and the guests we don’t know… we have had some ‘issues’ and nothing really bad, thank goodness, but more annoying or rude or just drama.

We had only 2 issues with people we don’t know and had 7 issues with people we do know.


I have talked about those issues before and will skip it now… but the issues were quite minor, more annoying than serious – except for a female half of a couple who arrived totally plastered and well, that was scary.

I love hosting parties like I said… but when I do, it seems like everyone wants to tell me how to do it better – in other words how I am doing it wrong.

I don’t think I am doing it wrong… I just don’t think I am doing it like others want to do their parties.

I am not interested in only inviting those we know, it limits our pool of friends… we aren’t able to add more people to the mix and therefore we aren’t able to have as much fun… I swing because I like the variety and well.. can you really have variety if you don’t expand your circle of friends.

So, I wrote out the party details letting folks know that they can sign up for the party and by golly, I have to let them know, just because you sign up does not mean you will come to the party. A number of things will come about that may make you not eligible to come. Not having pictures of both of you is the biggest. I am not sure how I am to invite someone without a face. So that is the biggest.

I don’t base everything on looks. I find a number of things attractive about a person besides their looks. The issue with not having face pics available to me, means I won’t recognize you when you arrive and neither will anyone else who attends. This is important.

Also important is your swinging preferences and experience. Now, I don’t judge you for your preferences or experiences – well, not like you may think. I don’t care personally if you are a soft swap person and I am a full swap person. I love to make out and kiss people and don’t have to fuck you to have a great night… but if all our guests are full swappers and you are the only soft swapper… that may be a problem.

Here is why. I do not have the time or the inclination to deal with what may happen if someone thinks you are a full swapper and while in a puppy pile or one-on-one goes too far. I know… you and I are thinking the same thing… the person could just tell them or wait, even ask them if they are full or soft swap. And yes, that is the most logical and polite manner to do it… but get this…

One person at a party we hosted was asked if they were soft or full. They got upset they were asked. After the party we got an email telling us it was rude to be asked.

No, here is what was rude. Someone asking you… you telling them that the female was soft swap only, the male was full swap and getting pissed when someone asked to clarify that a bit more… why is she only soft and you can fuck anyone you want?

That is a valid question… Most couples, even at a party… like to play with the other couple… there are a few of us who can play separately even at a party and that difference in a play style wouldn’t matter… I am a girl… I am bi… but I have to have a connection to the girl.. just because she is there doesn’t mean I want to eat her pussy… but if you and your spouse are hanging naked with another couple and the male half can enter the hot pussy of the woman he is with and you can’t enter his wife’s… it makes it a bit awkward. and just because you are naked and I am sucking your cock and then trying to slide my pussy on it… yeah, needing to know play preferences is important…

But more than that… matching up the group with similar preferences is important even if the knowledge is there that not everyone will play.

No one is required to play at our parties… some people don’t like group sex or sex in front of a group… so they come to meet others, check out their bits and pieces to see if they like them… and then make a date to play another time… we’ve done that with some of our guests…

But here is something that as a host we also have to consider… those who only like to watch.

I will be honest… people that only attend parties to WATCH others fuck kinda creep me out.

So if your preferences are listed as watch only or you mentioned a 100 times in your profile you only watch…well, I am not going to invite you to my party.

Remember, I said it kinda creeps me out… I don’t mind people watching me… but to come to a party and stand in the door way all the time no matter who is fucking in the room… is kinda creepy for me and others… no thank you.

Then the couples that are new to the lifestyle… I am not certain you can handle the parties we throw… doesn’t mean I won’t let you come, but I will be very selective on who does get the invite based on their profile and other keys that indicate you may not be okay with what goes on…

If your profile talks endlessly about rules and must haves… well, I am going to pass you up.


Because you don’t really understand what swinging is about yet and are not comfortable with your sexuality as a swinger.

This is a party that is about having fun sexually. Whether it is about hanging out and socializing while others are fucking around you… you have to be okay with it. You have to be able to understand that they will want different things than you and that is okay… but you also have to understand that they have decided that all the rules and regulations takes the fun out of being sexual with others…

I am all for helping newbies feel good about their sexuality… hence my forum and blog participation… hosting parties, attending parties, couple dates with newbies… but at the same time… I have to recognize that some people are not cut out for swinging and certainly not for our parties.

Because we have play parties in our home… people assume that we have one great big massive orgy and everyone participates and no rules or condoms are used.

That is not the case. There have been a great number of guests having sex in our home that I have not had sex with… and more like puppy piles than straight on orgies.

The parties are fun… people fucking and sucking and talking and flirting… we have had a massage table at one party that the guests enjoyed… the parties are really a great deal of fun… and no one is forced to participate… however, most do some type of socialization and none have sat in a corner ignored. There is a great balance of people who come that everyone is able to have some kind of fun however they define fun.

And that is because I make some choices as to who will come… but I also leave it up to chance to a certain degree. I know that some folks do not understand this completely.

I have a different idea of what a good looking guy or gal is from others… and the same can be said of you… what you find attractive I may not… so that is why I have to choose a variety of guests and not always about looks.

Which is why it bothers me when people will ask me why I invited this person or that person.

Here is the thing. After our first two parties where I sent out a ton of invitations and received few responses from the hand selected profiles to invite.. I opened it up for those who are interested to sign up and go from there.

I do tell a few people who I would really like to come to the party to come… but even those not via email invites garner few actual attendees. There are a number of reasons for it… but, when I think it would be fun to have them… few show up. That is why I have this system set up.

I think it opens those who actually enjoy the house party where play happens to a new place to come and play… and those who I may want to invite may not be the play party type of people.

And that is perfectly okay… like I say in the invite, this may not be the party for you.

Well, I am very excited to see who will be joining us on a cold’s winter night to heat up the house with naked fun…

If you happen to know any of our profiles from the sites we are on and you are going to be in the area… sign on up… we like to say the more the merrier.




Beginning 2017 with a bang!

Well, this is the second day of 2017 and already I have put forth some small action steps… I have scheduled a house party for later this month… we should be kid free again by then and yay, we can plan a party.

I am looking forward to the party as I do so love to host… I am also looking forward to the party as I do so love to play… a great combination I’d say.

I am working on the gang bang. It is one of those things that takes a bit of selection, planning and hoping that all of them can make it on the same day and time… I am also needing to find someone who wants to be a fluffer…

And the conversationally challenged… well, that will be a continued work in progress… it is funny how at times it seems to go well and then something is ‘written’ that you just can’t take back…

Here is a little tip guys… when you are listing people who you want to fuck and you are sharing that with a girl you would like to fuck… don’t list them “in order” or “in some order”… the best way to say this is “IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER”… and then if you list them and the girl you are talking to is on that list… maybe say something like “but you know you are at the top of my list”.

It doesn’t matter if she isn’t at the top of your list… it is a fantasy list of people you want to fuck… if you write ‘in some order’ and list her 4th… buddy, let’s be real… you just fell completely off her list.

Stupid… Stupid… Stupid…

And again I say stupid.

And watch how you say things like… “not that I don’t think you are attractive by any means… I happen to prefer curvy girls :)”

Can anyone explain to me what exactly is being said there?

And if a girl you say that to asks for clarification… you can bet she sees it as a negative statement and not a positive one that most associate a double negative as being… the ‘by any means’ confuses the double negative and makes it just appear negative… and yes, I know it was meant as a compliment, but fuck… read it carefully and you will wonder… and the ‘I happen to prefer curvy girls… since I know the context of the original conversation… let’s just say… that wasn’t the best – warm fuzzy statement a guy could give a girl.

Here is a recent conversation I had… I am typing it as it is typed to me and me to him… errors and all.

Me – Good morning sweetie

(I often use that term of endearment with those I text)

Him – Morning

Him – What you doing

Me – Drinking chocolate tea and relaxing

(truth was, I was drinking chocolate tea, reading my kindle, answering emails on my phone, talking with the puppy who was sitting on my lap, waiting for my son to head on down for a hair cut…)

Him – What’s on your mind

(FOR PETE’S SAKE… this is fucking annoying to me… this is all he ever asks me… I have no idea what is on my mind… I am certainly hating the fact I sent you a text… damn my stupidity.. so I decided to not answer that question… I mean I just told him I am drinking tea and relaxing not solving the world’s biggest problems or figuring out string theory…. )

Me – What are you up to today?

Him – doing some work til around 2 but nothing major

Him – what about toy sexy

(WTF does that mean? I am assuming it means what about you sexy… but fuck… read your text before you hit enter….)

Me – sounds fun… got a few calls this afternoon but not anything too pressing.

Him – I want you soon p

Him – Any good thoughts

Him – 🙂

Him – ??

(Hold the fuck on… I have to not only carry the conversation but come up with good thoughts too….)

(I lie to him and tell him I had a phone call. I didn’t. I was taking down Christmas decorations while texting someone else, then cut my kid’s hair. I had to have time to think of good thoughts)

Me: Sorry had a phone call. Then SON needed me for a few minutes.

Him: Sounds good so any good thoughts

(WTF????????????? I didn’t have any good thoughts before and now I am suddenly supposed to have good thoughts… where the fuck are your good thoughts… )

Me: Not right at this moment.

Him: Ok

Him: 🙂

Me: So what have you been thinking about lately?

Him: 🙂

Him: 🙂

(No, I did not type it twice because I wasn’t paying attention. That is what I got.)

Him: Thoughts

Him: 🙂

(I am not getting happy vibes from these fucking :). ENOUGH ALREADY)

Me: Sorry got busy

(I was actually busy… but even though I heard my phone go off, I stayed really busy to avoid what I got next… )

Him: It is ok

(Well thank you for allowing it to be fucking okay for you)

Him: Still busy?

Me: Working on social media for work…. If you want to talk, you’ll have to come up with the topics… I’ll respond, but may not be able to start topics… LOL

(The LOL is to soften the message, despite I am quite pissed about having to explain to him the basics of communication and how communication should be an exchange between two people and not carried on the shoulders of one person.)

Him: You are funny

Him: I love that about you

Me: I was serious. Some times I don’t have anything on my mind I can share and am thinking of other things and can’t come up with topics to talk about… it ‘s nice when it’s 2 sided.

Him: I totally agree

Him: I know I just want to kiss you very soon

Him: Who did you vote for and why

(What the fuck???? That has to be so fucking stupid to ask me. For the record, here is my answer… )

Me:  I voted for no presidential candidate. I did not want any of them in office and I want to be of clear conscious if they fuck up, which they will.

(Does he tell me who he voted for???? Nope, again this is one sided as it has now become 20 fucking questions… and for the record… I hate 20 questions).

Him: What about governor

(I tell you what… I will keep the rest of my voting data secret… then he asks me this whopper of a question… AGAIN!)

Him: What is you biggest current fantasy

(Since my previous answers have not come true yet… my fantasies, the few there are haven’t changed and likely won’t change until they do…

Me: Hasn’t changed since I shared the last time. I don’t have many fantasies.

(Ouch, even I felt the coldness in that response)

Him: Ok

Him: Been with people who’s change a lot

Him: Was just wondering

Him: What has been your favorite vacation ever

(Ok, I realize that he is really doing everything wrong… and my answer was a bit cold… and I really don’t care if other people have millions of fucking fantasies every fucking day… I don’t. I can’t tell people often enough that I am more a DO NOT MAKE A FUCKING LIST AND CHECK IT OFF WHEN WE HAVE SEX type of person… I mean seriously… what the fuck do you think this means… “I love to see where an adventure takes us… I don’t like to have a game plan… but if someone wants to do something and we do it and it is awesome… yay us… I like to see where it goes and what happens spontaneously…” So I write him this… )

Me: I like spur of the moment things during sex. Unscripted and unplanned but it just leads up to that moment when we decide to do it. Yes some things need planning, but I love the spontaneous moments.

Him: I like that

(Okay, then try really hard to remember that and when you look at your list of the same five questions, mark that one off the list… I don’t have a shit load of fantasies sitting in my head… I have 3 fantasies… that’s it. Three fantasies that I have yet to fulfill and they take planning and well… my mind is active enough, I can close my eyes and build a fun and sexy story in my head and cum while typing it… I don’t think you will be able to fulfill everyday masturbation thoughts better than my imagination can… you want to get me off… carry on a decent, fun, sexy, interesting and all that good stuff conversation with me… engage me and I will want you)

(I answer my favorite vacation with a quick story… I ask him his… I get)

Him: Sandals resorts are great

(I fucking explained why my favorite vacation was great… he tells me a resort is great)

Me: What makes them great?

Him: All inclusive

Him: I like that

Him: Private

Him: You are in your own small world

I never responded.

(What the fuck, did you read that off the travel brochure? I had nothing to say… I was done trying… That conversation took place from 8:27 am to 1:33 pm. You read it in how many minutes?)

Here is the thing… I am not looking for sex all the time. I am not looking for someone to heap praises on me… I am looking for simply… someone who wants to have an actual conversation with me in the manner that most people in civilization do… where they share a greeting then tell something that happened to them… I comment on that… it makes me think of another thing that relates to it… and they bring up something about what I just said and it leads to another comment… or a follow up question… not 20 questions where the first 15 questions are always the same… that does not make a conversation… it is a break the ice party game… we have fucked for Pete’s sake… the ice doesn’t need to be broken… the flame needs to be kept going….

I know this exists… I had a conversation just like that with another person at the same time this was going on…

So, why do I share all this?

Because, I am going to be changing how 2017 goes in way of communication with others swingers. In 2016, I ventured to make myself a kinder, gentler Sophia when dealing with people who work my last nerve… it didn’t work. I spent too much time trying to teach them to communicate.

It didn’t work. Why? Because they didn’t care if they communicated like monkeys… They only cared that someone responded to them. I swear, I could have said things like ‘wowzer’, ‘cool man’, ‘awesome’ and other fun and unnecessary words like that and they wouldn’t have noticed. I could have had a list of topics like ‘express to me your feelings on global warming’ only to be told… ‘no, what are your biggest fantasies’…

I am wore out… I am conversationally wore out from all the sameness of swinger conversations.

I am not the only one… according to someone I recently had a great conversation with.. other women are asking ‘WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH GUYS WITH NO CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS?’

I am trying to think of a great way to let them know I am not interested in continuing a conversation or a pathetic attempt at conversation with them…

Any suggestions?

I know that being honest with them won’t work… I have tried that many times… And I know that brutal honesty doesn’t work… the one guy with the 🙂 issues has been on the receiving end of those emails and texts and well, 4 years later he still wants to fuck me… I am thinking… “Hey sweetie, I am really busy right now… I can’t talk with you.”

I hesitate to use that because they may think I will want to talk with them later… but damn, this is hard work… and it shouldn’t be hard work…

You want to fuck a girl… you find out what she likes and you show her you pay attention to her…

You already fucked a girl and you want to fuck her again… you up your game… just because you had her already does not guarantee a second romp in the hay… you have to up your game each time you communicate with her and fuck her… come on… swingers like variety as a general rule… you have to make sure she can’t wait for you to play with her again and again… and how you do that is by wowing her each and every time…

And if you want to fuck a girl… make sure the compliments are clear… that poor guy up there in the beginning of my examples should have just come out and said… “Well, I find you fucking hot as curvy girls turn me on”. No mistaking that compliment… and if you want to fuck her… tell her repeatedly how much you want to fuck her and she is the top of your list… not fucking 4th place in some order…

Just so you know… the list was people scattered all over the country and the likelihood of meeting and fucking is slim to none… but the point is really… why put the person you are talking to on the 4th place on your list… what would it hurt to let them know your list was in no order… it was a fucking fantasy list for Pete’s sake… all that does is make you wonder why the fuck are you texting me… the other 3 people on the list ahead of me don’t want to text you?

So anyways… my 2017 is going good overall… could always be better… and I am hoping by later this month it is full of fucking and sucking at our party… I do so love hosting and letting my guests know how much I enjoy them…

P.S. as I write this… the third example guy just texted me. Him: “What’s up”

Me: Well I want to write this… “My irritation at your fucking texts” but I won’t. I will wait a bit and then write “good morning sweetie.”

Just being honest… but his is on the top of my list of done in 2017… ;0



Happy 2017 Everyone!

This will be a short post… I have a few longer ones in process… but I thought I would just shout out a Happy 2017 to everyone of you naughty swingers and hoping soon to be swingers…

I hope that you will look at your adventure and decide if it is what you want it to be… and if it is not… make those changes.

This year, I am going to do the following… and no they are no resolutions… but action steps…

I am going to plan a gang bang..

I am going to enjoy and MMF… yep, that may take a bit more work… but I have a few guys willing to help me out on that…

I am going to enjoy more hall passes throughout the year and on my travels…

I am going to attend a few more parties and possibly get back to hosting them again… 2016 was a very busy year with lots of changes… so… we will see if we can get a few naked times going at our house again… with three levels… we have plenty of places to play.

I am going to weed out those who don’t ‘do it for me’ conversationally… I spent way to much time frustrated by the lack of communication effort put forth by a few too many people… so this year… I will be cutting them off a helluva lot sooner…

And I am going to enjoy having great adventures throughout the year…

Just so you know… there are other action plans I want to take in other parts of my life… but you only really care about these…

Thank you to all who have read my blog over the years… especially last year… and for those who sent me comments on the blog and off about the topics I talk about… to all my friends who like me and want to fuck despite what I write in here… a huge thank you to you all….

May your 2017 and you sexually social adventure be awesome…

Muah Sophia

House Parties Are Like A Buffet….

Sometimes when I am in the shower blot topics come to mind and if I am lucky… the entire blog post writes itself in my head before I turn off the water.

I have mentioned a bunch of times that I love house parties. I love the opportunity to meet many people in one setting and sample a bit of what they are like.

Kinda like a buffet if you will….

Before a house party or buffet you will peruse the list of attendees or menu offerings.

You look them both over and decide the same things…

  • what is the cost
  • what is offered
  • does anything appeal to you
  • how far away it is
  • in some cases you have to make reservations – sometimes you just drop on by….
  • if you travel you have to look at other activities nearby or if on an overnight trip… lodging…. I mean come on, could that buffet be worth traveling????

See, a house party and buffet require the same basic considerations…

Now, if there is something you see that appeals to you..  you may check it out a bit further as in going to their profile or googling how to make that particular dish you are interested in…

You may send an email to find out more details… to both the restaurant and the profile you are interested in meeting…

Or you may just arrive and be your very best self…. jump in with both feet and enjoy what you find…

Once you arrive to the house party and you arrive at the buffet… you have to realize this important step… just because the other guests and food are present…doesn’t mean they will come to you… even in a buffet, you have to get up and go to the food…

Same is true for the house party… just because you arrived doesn’t mean everyone will come to you and want you…

Just because the menu sounds awesome at the buffet doesn’t mean the words and the food match perfectly…

And we all know that some who claim are ‘easy-going’ are not… those who are secure are not… and those who are the age they say they are… are not…

Just as we know that sometimes the food shown on the website is not how it looks after sitting in the buffet line for hours….

And those pictures from 1988 you have posted on your site… well… yeah… you may not be as ‘fresh’ as you think…

When you go to a house party and you think the guests will be like their pictures, their profile, their texts, and their phone calls… and you meet in person… and they are creepy, assholes, bitchy, or just mind-numbing boring… you can decide to move on…

Similar to the buffet, you tried the roasted chicken and it is dried and tasteless, you can go back and try the sausages or the mounds of succulent mashed potatoes with cream and butter….

You can keep going back to the buffet or you can make your way around the room until you find a couple you hit it off with right away… You can enjoy the variety without making a commitment to someone you just do not like…

There is always that other aspect that oddly enough many swingers are afraid to admit… that they have sex with other swingers…

House parties allow you to have sex with someone you think you may want a friendship with… but test out the sex to make sure you are compatible. Nothing like hitting it off with a person or couple and all of you thinking  this is going to be so wonderful only to find out they lack adventure in sex… that instead of a wide selection of spices and flavors… these swingers have very vanilla sex..

I gotta tell you, there is nothing wrong with making sure the sex and the conversation excite you… there is nothing wrong with making sure that you enjoy yourself..

And there is nothing wrong with wanting to have it all and walking on when you don’t…

There is power in knowledge and happiness when you put that knowledge into action. No one tells you to stick to the wall during a party. No one tells you that you cannot talk to others… you decide that for yourself. Just as you decide whether or not you should continue to force a conversation with someone who doesn’t want to put forth the effort.

You are in control of your sexually social adventure and when you remember that you are able to take what you want and need from this adventure because you actually received those wants and needs.

Just in case you are wondering… there is nothing wrong with attending a party and just watch. There is nothing wrong with going to the party to find people to go on a ‘date’ with or play at another time or location. There is nothing wrong with fucking someone at a party and not having anything more to do with them. There is nothing wrong with how you do a house party…

Just go out and DO!

Hope you are enjoying your sexually social adventure… I am