After the last post, I did a quick google search on men’s insecurities with sex and penis sizes. OMG! You would not believe the number of options on this topic. There are a ton of them… As a woman who enjoys having sex with men… and enjoys cocks of almost all sizes… and enjoys a variety of cocks and the men who are attached to them… I don’t get this huge area of insecurity…
I read 9 of the articles and blog posts of countless numbers… and in those 9 articles, the same things were mentioned in all of them… It can be based on one word… assumptions.
So many men according to these articles and studies… assume women want big, thick cocks. Few men have ever asked their partner if they want a big, thick cock or an average cock or a slightly smaller cock.
As a woman before swinging… and as a swinger… I cannot tell you the size of most of the guys I have been with… but I can tell you what guys knew how to use their cock. If I am being honest… I can mention the few times I have been impaled with a large cock and wasn’t that thrilled with it…
Yes, that means… I am not a size queen. I do not want nor need a large cock to beat the shit out of my cervix. Not one of my partners that were in the large size range bothered to tell me of their large size prior to impaling my cervix. I sure wish they had.
I have had a few guys brag that they are huge and think that I want a big cock. It turned me off and we never met and if we met, never had sex. A large cock is not a winning argument.
I have more men tell me that they have a small cock. And apologize for it.
I am not sure why the apology.
I mean, did you have a larger snap on cock you could have chosen that day, but instead snapped on the smaller cock?
To me, apologizing for something you have no control over… is umm, dumb.
Should I apologize for the birthmark I have under my arm?
I will be honest… if a cock is like 2 inches fully erect… yeah, not really going to be much fun for me… I do like to actually be penetrated and feel it…
There was this one guy at a house party once that was quite small. Fully erect. He did however, while using his cock… give me one great orgasm.
Why was this remarkable? Because he knew his size was not great and still made a great experience for me.
I think that is the difference between a guy who has penis size insecurity and one who has come to terms with what he has and has learned to make the most of it…
One point made repeatedly in these articles and studies was that porn has made more men insecure.
This cracks me up in how ridiculous this is… porn in this case is the same for men and women… they are not as likely to show a woman who has stretchmarks from giving birth to a couple kids, a little extra weight, average looking or less than hot… what would be the point? I am not talking about the homemade porn, but those that are shot and have scripted dialogue… (which I never listen to… I don’t care about the back story… I want to see the men)… in regards to men… they are going to show men who they feel meet the qualifications of hot and have a desirable cock. That attracts viewers. A small cock on an overweight man is not going to get a whole lot of viewers…
Yet, men think that the ideal shown on porn… a fit man with a great cock… is what all women want… It may be what gets women to watch the porn… and gets them off… but don’t you think that most women in real life know they are not living in a porn flick?
And if the woman has chosen to be with you… she realizes this isn’t a porn flick?
But according to these articles… men focus on the idealization from porn as a real life indication of what women want.
So does that mean you expect all women to look and act like a porn queen?
See, makes no sense…
Another point made in the articles… most men do not see very many cocks, do not touch very many cocks, and do not talk about the variances in cocks.
Think about that one for a minute or two…
If you would look at other cocks, touch other cocks, talk about other cocks…
OMG! That would make you GAY!!!!
Just joking. It won’t make you gay to look at another man’s cock and find out some details about his cock…
It might be awkward… but then again, I am writing a blog post about swinging… swinging puts you in small locations where you can actually umm, see, touch, and talk about cocks with your wife, the other man, the other wife… and a lot of other cocks… depending on your adventure…
All you have to do is talk about it… ask about it… look at it… touch it…
And again, this is not about being gay or bisexual… it is about being in control of your sexuality. Being secure in your sexuality. Being open to discussion and that includes awkward moments talking about cocks.
Doesn’t that seem to be the basis of most insecurities? Whether male or female, the lack of communication is what causes many people to hold onto their insecurities. They keep their insecurities deep down inside thinking no one can see them… and if no one can see them then no one will question them… and if no one will question them… then no one will make you address them.
I knew a guy who was afraid to talk to his wife about wanting to swing again. He said it with me many times, but never had the… hmm, guts maybe to talk to his wife about swinging again. He spent a considerable amount of time lying to her and manipulating her. Having one real conversation where he actually said all he wanted to say to her would have taken only a fraction of time compared to all the manipulating and lying he did. He was afraid she wouldn’t love him anymore if he was honest. I think the reality of it was, he didn’t want to hear no if he asked directly. I also found the irony of him being afraid to be honest with her… and spent so much time lying to her and manipulating her when if I was that wife… I would be far more pissed that he was lying and manipulating me rather than being honest with me….
Insecurities make people do some stupid shit. Really stupid shit. It can mess you up in many ways.
There were a few play partners that worried so much about their cock size being pleasing that they couldn’t get hard. A hard 4 inch cock is much more pleasing than a limp 4 inch cock… To me that would be obvious. To them, not so much.
One potential partner was so worried he wouldn’t please me orally that he told me over and over how he is not very good orally… I chose not to meet him at all. I don’t want to have to spend all my time reassuring you. Who would? If you fear you are not good at oral… I don’t know, study up on it. I don’t want to hear how you will fail me before you even try. What if you do whatever it is you do that makes me have one of the best orgasms of my life? But because you annoy me with your insecurity before we even meet, I choose not to meet…
Insecurities make a person selfish, self-centered, and often rude.
Think about it… you have a 5 inch cock and you think I want a 12 inch cock. You decide to worry about it to the point you can’t get it hard… then you have a pity party because you couldn’t get hard because you focused solely on your cock size being inferior… You are being selfish by thinking you are the only one in this equation… you aren’t. It is you and me having sex… so, maybe you could get your focus off you all the time and ask me… what size cock do I like…
I would be more than happy to tell you my range of fun sized cocks are between 5 and 8 and the best is about 6 to 6.5 inches… you know… it really hits the spot… so it could be said that is my sweet spot… But depending on the position we are fucking in… smaller hits this one spot perfectly… and if we are doing this other position… OMG… 7 or 8 is perfect… but for most positions… 6 is perfect…
Ah, it goes back to communication and realizing that there are two people involved… and if you are worth my time to get to know you… is your cock size really going to make a huge difference?
Let’s be honest… yes and no… for me… too large is too large… too small is too small… but if you are between a range… even beyond what I just mentioned… and you know how to use your cock…
You see, I did have a guy was larger than 8 inches… he asked me what size is perfect for me… I had no idea his cock size at this point… I relayed something to him similar to the 5 – 8 range and why it is good for me… and when we had sex… he put those words into effect… he wouldn’t go all the way in hard and fast until I was ready for it… he would only go in some of the way in other positions according to what I told him… He was 9 inches… and when we did this one position he was able to go all the way in… hard and fast… and it was because my pussy was so very much ready for all of him…
All that to say… it is not really the size of a cock… it is the ability of the owner of the cock to pay attention, listen, control, and appreciate their partner…
When my pussy was ready to take him all in… he pounded hard, he pounded fast… he came as hard as me… it was good… he knew what the fuck he was doing… and that was a good thing… A very good thing…
He was not good because he was large.
He was good because he realized it is not the size of his cock… but his ability to please with his cock… and isn’t that what a girl wants?
Work on your insecurities… male or female… work on them and get passed them or at least get to the point you can leave them at home… everyone will have a better time…
Muah Sophia