Tag Archives: stupid swingers

Don’t Ask If You Don’t Want the Answer…

There is a funny thing that happens all over our lives… people ask questions and do not like the answers as they are not what they wanted to hear.

You know the questions…

Do you like me?

Do you love me?

Was I good?

Am I pretty?

Do I look fat?

Is my cock big enough for you?

Do you wanna?

No matter who we are… we are asked questions.  Do you want fries with that? Questions come from everywhere and we have a choice to make… do we answer the question and answer it honestly.

I received a cute little meme yesterday from a friend. I would post it here, but it has a picture of little Raven Simone from her days on the Cosby Show and I won’t post kid pics on here… but it says….


It was sent to me because people will ask for my opinion or seek some answers from me and are surprised because I will give you the honest answer.

Now, I tend to write on chat in a very sexy – provocative – friendly – fun manner. So when I am at the point of being very honest in my answer to something someone asked me about… I will speak (write) plainly.

There is one guy who acts like a creepy single male on chat. No one can stand him. He is not a single guy (as far as we know) but he comes across as a creepy single guy lurking on chat.

Well one night I had had enough of him. He lurks for hours on chat and then will spew some sanctimonious crap meant to belittle someone. He had done it to many. Luckily he had avoided me after one or two comments to me that failed to get a reaction.

Side note… if I don’t like you or want to talk to you on chat or the forums… I ignore you. It is pretty easy to do. I just don’t read your crap, don’t follow what you post, and don’t engage you… fairly easy.

Well, I had gotten tired of the private chats to me of people complaining about him. I told them to ignore him and they just could not.

I guess their ignore people gene isn’t fully developed like mine is. So I made a comment to this person. I said something like this… “Hey, do you realize you come across as a creepy single guy and no one likes you on chat.”

I was hoping for the shock value of that statement in the event he would – I don’t know – stop being a creepy single guy.

He starts in on his sanctimonious crap about how he could prove he was a married man. He could show me profiles of folks who met him. He went on and on and just did not stop. I told him…. First of all, why are you on chat 24/7 if you are married. Do you not want to choose your wife over sitting on chat all day and night. But more importantly, I do not need to talk to those people you suggested. I have no desire to verify you are a married man. I don’t care. I am simply telling you that you are pissing off people who chat here, you are coming off as a creepy single guy, and many refuse to come on chat when you are on and since you never leave chat, you are ruining the fun of chat.

To which he went on to tell me again about how very married he is…

Fully ignoring the fact that I mentioned the issue is how creepy he is coming across. And yes, it was appropriate with the stream of conversation that he was involved in… specifically why chat is so dead all the time…

I have had people ask me questions and here is my general rule of thumb. I will answer your question the first time in the most upbeat manner possible even if I have been asked the question by others hundreds of times. I will address you as if this is the first time I heard this question.

The second time you ask me the SAME question, I will answer you a little less upbeat… I will leave out the extra and just give you the bare answer…

The third time I swear it is all I can do not to rip your head off… I mean seriously… if you cannot possibly listen to what I answered the first time or the second time… you are too stupid for me.

Now the only exception of this is when you ask me questions like – does my cock feel good? Does your pussy want my cock?  You know what I mean… the important questions in life when in a situation where you want to have some fun adventures…

But to ask me what do you think about this particular situation…. and I tell you… and you don’t listen and you ask me again… or you get mad because I haven’t answered the question and you don’t like the answers I gave you….

If you pay attention, you notice that the same people will ask everyone they can the same questions hoping for a different answer or at least the answer they want.

And here is the thing… if you keep getting the same answers… shouldn’t that tell you something…

We have a few people who are on chat doing this all the time… We try to impart some decent advice that will actually allow them to prepare for the ‘realities’ of swinging without the surprise element most of us painfully experienced.

We try to give examples of our experiences rather than tell them what they should do… but they tell us that it won’t happen that way…

I can’t tell you how many newbies of swinging we were their first full swap. I can’t tell you how many were so nervous thinking of how the night will go that they got so upset that it didn’t meet their expectations. And it wasn’t because the sex wasn’t good… it was because they thought it would begin a certain way and they would be able to do all 20 items on their checklist… and they came before they could do more than four.

Or they got so excited and nervous they drank too much… or even if they didn’t drink too much or at all he couldn’t get it up because he is so nervous…

Or the MRS felt weird afterwards and started to close off… or one of them like one of us more than the other and they feel guilty about it…

Hell, anything can happen and it usually does…

It usually hurts when swinging reality slaps you in the face…

Well, it just goes on to say that some people ask for advice and don’t really want to hear the truth no matter how nicely you present it to them. I think it would be easier to preface each answer with “Just so I am clear, what answer are you hoping I give?”

I think that would make a lot of the angst we all feel when we are in this situation go away… or at least lessen… we can tailor our answers to meet their expectations… water down the truth and do an injustice to others who are listening and want to ask the same question…

So what do you do? Lie, manipulate the answer to make it easier to accept, or tell the truth and hope for the best…

For me, I will continue to be honest with them. I can’t fix stupid… I don’t want to try… but I will be the first one to tell them “Told you so!”

Hope you are enjoying your sexually social adventure….


Does Anyone Really Believe That Line?

On chat, on the forums, and in person we hear some people say a version of this statement – and I emphasize a VERSION of this statement… I have heard so many versions of this and so have others… “I am only in the lifestyle for my wife, I am not interested in getting laid.”

Wanna call bullshit with me?

I mean seriously. I have to wonder if anyone believes this… you, your spouse, the people you spout this nonsense too…..

You sound stupid. You sound like you are in denial. You are in fact denial. You are denying your very basic desires and I do not understand why?

Let’s see if I can break this down in an attempt to understand this issue a bit better….

You and your wife decide to swing.

You tell your wife you do not care if you get laid.

Let’s stop here… Why did you start swinging?

I have and so have others heard “My wife wants to explore her bi-side.”

Well, then let her go and play with women alone. Not an option? Why not? You say she won’t be safe. Well, if it is just two women… you can meet the other woman before hand… but let’s ask this question here… if you don’t think your wife will be safe playing with another woman…. why are you swinging? Why are you putting you and your wife out there if you feel there will be a number of large risks to her safety?

That is not good for you to let her find a girl to have a ‘friendship’ with that she can also suck some pussy with…. you want to be involved…

So you present yourself as a couple looking for a single female to play with.. again, so your wife can explore her bi-side… Why then do you want to participate if this is for your wife and you don’t really care if you get laid?

Why then, are you upset that you cannot get hard when with your wife and another woman who is there by your own admission to allow your wife explore her bi-side and you are not interested in getting laid?

You are upset because you want to be hard, you want to fuck the other woman, you want to get laid.

However, you have lied to yourself and your spouse and everyone else you have told this too…

And for what purpose?

If you cannot be honest with yourself, you feel guilt when the two sides of you battle.

If you cannot be honest with yourself or your spouse… well this is the beginning of marital discord. Yeah, the same guilt that keeps you from getting hard or however it manifests itself will remain and in fact, get worse in you and between you two.

If you cannot be honest with your spouse about how you REALLY feel and how much you want this… because you do not think your wife will understand… buddy, you have got some major issues happening in your marriage…

Gotta ask why her desires with the lifestyle are more important than yours…. or why you would want to continue this type of relationship… Now, I am not saying divorce her… I am talking about being honest for possibly the first time in your life about what you want sexually. I mean seriously… you are a swinger… why can’t you embrace the fact you are a swinger and fucking swing!

How fair are you being to those you want to meet, meet, or try to fuck?

And come on, if the other woman wants you, are you really going to say… “Sorry, I really don’t want to get laid.”

Got to admit here, the few guys who have said that line to me… that they are only in this for their wife and her bi enjoyment… were lying to me… first of all.. we (the other female and I) hardly played if at all… she was more interested in fucking my hubby and he fucked me…. and wanted to do so again and again…

Let’s be honest here… If you want to fuck someone… let them know… We really don’t need to hear the lies that you think will make you feel better… just be honest.

Say it to yourself out loud…




Come on everyone, embrace the truth. It is okay to want to fuck other people. You are not suddenly ‘a better person’ because you ‘don’t really want to get laid’ but place both of you in the position to be naked with other people.

If you want to be a swinger than learn to accept the fact that other swingers are okay with you wanting to fuck others..

If you just want to watch others having sex and not participate then be honest about why…. don’t hide behind your wife’s bi-exploration.

Cuz no one believes what you are saying… not even the guys who say the same damn thing…

Hope you are honest on your sexually social adventure… the rest of us appreciate it!