I will be honest… I hate the saying Taking One For the Team and I don’t understand why that saying is ever used. If I am not interested in a person for whatever reason I know how to say not interested. Verbal and non-verbally. If I choose to have sex with someone I cannot see that I am taking one for the team as I made the choice.
Now granted, hubby and I do not have so many rules in our play time that makes this situation a common one… I mean, if I am not interested in the male half of a couple and hubby is very interested in the female half… he can play with them as a threesome… and if the other couple is on board with him and her playing together as we move on to other people… all the better…
But here is something else about me and my inability to understand taking one for the team… I do not always have sex with a person based on how they look. People to me are not trophies. I do not have to seek out the hottest person in the room to fuck them. Maybe it is a flaw in my personality, but I do not see how fucking a hot person makes me a better person overall. Not to say that I have not had some amazing sex with some amazingly hot people… but that has never been my end game.
While some state they are not looking for notches on their bedpost, I am not looking to amp up my trophy room.
I am looking for people who are interesting to me. Yes, if they are hot and interesting it is the best of both worlds… but I am more interested in those who are interesting… and interested in me.
So I go back to this premise for how to decide if a person is worthy of my time and affection while fucking swinger style…
I believe there is something about every person that makes them worthy of knowing. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. Assholes and bitches hide in pretty and not so pretty packages. I have had some really awesome experiences with people who do not hit high on the attractive scale and some really shitty experiences with those who hit very high on the attractive scale. It is just something that you have to take on a case by case basis.
If I am not attracted to you by looks or by personality, then I say no. Hubby does the same thing… sometimes we are on the same page… and sometimes hubby makes that decision to move ahead for my benefit even though he wants to say no. Each time he has done that he has regretted the decision. He has also admitted that I gave him numerous chances to say no and I was good with whatever he decided. He made the decision to go ahead (this is one of those rare hot with not situations where the guy is way hotter and nicer than the gal…. rare but true)… he would then regret it and bitch about it… and I tell him he had the chance to say no and I would have gone along with the no…. so shut the fuck up now…. lol.
So I do not understand the Taking One For The Team mentality. And I will be honest. While hubby used that phrase a few times after the fact… he still had the choice to say no.
I think there is another side of this phrase that bears discussion. Those who randomly shout out “I won’t take one for the team!” They use those words as a weapon of insult to people they do not really even know… just a blanket statement that when shouted out in random context is rather ridiculous as everyone wonders, “is she/he talking about me?” Then those same people go and look at your profile and pictures and think…. ‘What the FUCK… who is this loser/hideous bitch that they think he/she is hotter than me?” Most of the time, the loser/hideous bitch is of the same level or lesser then those they emphatically state their position.
Many of the people who use that phrase I wonder if they have ever looked at themselves. I am not talking solely looks… but their attitude. Do they really think they are that much of a prize that they can insult others in such a way?
Obviously they do… or they wouldn’t do it… It is just a shame that they will insult others to feel better about themselves. I have been told I am pretty, beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, hot, and so on and so forth… I love the compliments I get… however, I am always aware that I have flaws and many of these people are saying this want to get into my pants and/or have just gotten in my pants… so I take it into context and think if there is a bit of truth to the statement if sex wasn’t involved I am doing pretty good.
I have been told that my beauty is both inside and out. That who I am as a person is far more beautiful than my eyes, smile, dimple, ass, or whatever body part they are enjoying… I think that is a great compliment and certainly one that I can carry with me throughout my days… that someone thinks I am beautiful inside and out…
I have also heard men and women ask me why I chose them. I swear that breaks my heart each time I hear those words come out of their mouths. Why wouldn’t I chose you? I have to see something very special in you to choose you. I have been thanked by people for choosing them… ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?????
I know that may sound angry that ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS????? and well I am a bit angry coupled with disbelief. I am angry that someone thought so highly of themselves to destroy your view on yourself… that you are not worthy of someone’s time or attention or affection… that for whatever reason you are not sexy, interesting, or hot enough for them…
I have seen people who would state that very statement in front of the people involved “I’m not taking one for the team” and seen the crushed look on their faces… who the hell wants to be told that to be with them even to get to know them as people when sex is not even a guarantee… that they are so hideous that they don’t even deserve the smallest amount of respect. All it would take is, ‘sorry, I am not interested.’ That is much easier to handle than you are so revolting I am going to insult you by saying I won’t take one for the team.
But speaking of the ones who say that phrase often… I am sorry to say… most of them are not hot enough to say that phrase. Often we look at them and wonder why they think they are so much better than those they turn down so rudely. We have looked at them and saw their face and body less than desirable… but we give people the benefit of the doubt that their personality will make them more attractive to us… until these less than ‘beautiful’ people utter those ridiculous words…
What does taking one for the team really mean?
The urban dictionary gives us this example…..
Take One For The Team
“An act where one brave soul in your group of males friends hits on the Nottie of the group of hotties so his friends can get their slide on later on that night. Taking one for the team usually involves just talking to the nottie and laughing at her jokes and complimenting her (horrid) appearance, but it may be necessary to appease the nottie by getting your wacka wacka on with her… back at her place of course, so your roommates never see her.”
Gotta ask you all who use the phrase “taking one for the team” are you really that much of an asshole or bitch to tell others that you feel that so many are horribly beneath you in such a rude manner?
Cause that is how you are coming across to others…
And all this could be avoided by simply saying ‘sorry, I am not interested.’ No reason, no excuse, no lie needed. You are not obligated to give a reason, just your answer….
Hope you are having a wonderful sexually social adventure…